this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
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It's only wrong if you get caught!
I find it entertaining that the criteria for neurodivergence includes telling the truth.
I find it concerning that lying is apparently always an option for NTs.
That’s the whole communication gap. When allistic people talk they will almost always lie or say something other than what they mean, which gives the other person the opportunity to lie or ignore what they meant if it suits them. This is what’s known as being “polite.”
Wait hold on.
Are you saying NT lie all the time or ND lie all the time?
Because neither of those is true?
Or if it is, it explains my ex a whole lot better
NT people lie and or talk around what they mean rather than say it directly. Neurodivergent people, especially autistic people, are not like this and find it taxing to deal with.
That doesn't make any sense. Yes, I have ADHD and not ASD, so yes I have a slightly easier time with social interactions, but NT don't lie or avoid direct language. They try to minimize the harm of their words.
That's like me stating that ND people lack empathy, and they are insulting because they don't care about the other person's feelings.
I think if you look for it you will see it more often. I also think most NT don’t notice when they do it because it’s second nature. Sure there are white lies, small lies, and then more nefarious lies. It’s still a core part of “normal” communication. Add in the indirect speech and every meaningful conversation is like a game where no one says what they actually mean.
Ok, I see where you are coming from.
My challenge to your thinking is that a lie requires intent. My ex lied about cheating on me when I had the screenshot of her admitting it in my hands. I knew it was a lie, I had the evidence. She lied anyway because it made her feel better (actually she stated it because to her we "weren't together anymore").
The intent behind nuanced speech and carefully chosen words isn't to deceive, it's to help the other come to the conclusion on their own. A jarring direct statement causes emotional disregulation and clouds reasoning. Being direct all the time leads to the other party rejecting your statements even if they are undoubtedly true.