The Onion

4341 readers

995 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

495

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 20 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

94 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I’m torn. Both Galadriel and Sauron say the other is a threat to Middle-earth. One has to be wrong, so whom am I to trust? Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor, dominate all life, and attempt to stay in power for eternity? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples… but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 13 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Liberals can only imagine last minute ass-pulls saving the day and devalue anyone and anything else striving to avert calamity. Otherwise, it's all Adults In The Room that Make The Hard Decisions and Get Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.

And judging by how you're talking here, you identify as one such Adult In The Room that Makes The Hard Decisions and Gets Shit Done by reinforcing the status quo.

Find it hilarious

Sure you do.