Edit/Update: It turns out that my last name has a capitol letter in the middle and they put a space in it. Thank god. I can actually vote this year.
this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Mildly Infuriating
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Oof. I checked mine three times this cycle to be sure. Never know when some awful mistake, like voting in a Democratic primary, will get your TX Voter info deleted.
You know, though, since we're mostly left-leaning around these parts, just tell me the secret code and I'll meet you at a basement in the People's Republic of Austin and we'll discuss getting three non-citizens to vote however you'd like, and then we can dine on the flesh of Christians to celebrate!
How are you guys looking on adrenochrome down that way? Supply shortages have hit us hard on the east coast. I'd kill for some fresh, virginal blood right about now.
ISWYDT. Congratulations to you for your dark cleverness, fellow leftist devil!
Unfortunately, it's not much better here. The annoyingly heroic Governor Abbott has heroically deployed the heroic Texas Military Department and is disrupting our usual channels along the Rio Grande, both for commodity Catholics, and for nefarious agents to procure high-end evangelical targets in Sugar Land and Southlake. On the plus side, the lack of fresh victims is stressing our natural rivals the Chupacabras, so once we stuff the ballot box and then eliminate all those who stand in our way, Stanley in logistics says things will be back to normal fairly soon, as the extraction facilities in the Planned Parenthood clinics have not yet been seized. Remember to keep an eye out for the distribution points marked out with the "Y'all means All" Pride flags!
Daddy Gates said it’s my turn to control the weather this time!
Only degreed meteorologists are allowed to control the weather, Jimmy!
Hard pass.
Too much fat, I'm on a diet.
Oh, you fool. Christians are part of the body of Christ, and communion involves eating of the body of Christ, and communion is entering into a convenant as a living member of the body of Christ...
Don't eat the Christians. That's how it spreads.
It's like Mad Cow Disease, except most of the Christians around here have no brains.
That's it, it hurricaneing time texas
you weren't supposed to tell
...here's the thing most folks don't realise: as a metropolitan area, austin skews far more conservative than san antonio...
~(we~ ~actually~ ~meet~ ~in~ ~the~ ~basement~ ~of~ ~the~ ~alamo)~
THE STARS AT NIGHT!