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Chat, is it creepy to have a totally unjustified crush (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm not sure I should start this conversation and I've been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists

Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)

Now my brain is fried

I'm thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can't imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.

I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that's beyond the point) guy, I'm trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can't remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I always feel hesitant posting here since I'm not a native Hexbearian, but as a woman I might offer some perspective.

I have been in the same position as you. I go to a school with a bunch of hot guys, I don't speak to them, I see them for 2 seconds in the hallways and later they become part of my night fantasies. For days, weeks. Sometimes it's romantic, too.

Would some of them be horrified to find out what's going on in my head? Probably. Are my thoughts wrong, immoral or otherwise destructive? No. My thoughts make me feel happy, it's my happy place with a handful of hotties, I can escape to it when I want and who knows, maybe I'll pursue one of these males irl sometime.

My point is, if you can at all relate to what I just wrote, then you are not wrong nor at fault. I appreciate that you are being aware as a man of the implications of thinking about this woman so much, but attraction and feeling smitten is natural no matter the sex and societal structures.

Like somebody else said, if you decide to shoot your shot and she rejects you, and you respectfully accept that, you are not a creep. What matters the most is how you handle the possibility of being turned down.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It's really really cool to read about your experience, thank you for writing it! I can guarantee that won't be a creep if I get rejected