this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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As if she's in heaven.
As if Heaven was a place.
I was told that ooh heaven is a place on Earth.
Do you know what that's worth??
They say, in heaven, "butt plug Smurf."
Lots of people are saying it. Good people, smart people.
Instructions unclear. Now have many Smurfs in butt, wat do
Better call Bitch Pudding.
Heaven is a half-pipe.
If I die before I wake...
At least in heaven I can skate.
'Cause right now on earth I can't do jack
Without the man upon my back.
the most messed up thing is I read that line and instead of thinking of the oldschool kids' prayer i start hearing Metallica playing in my head.
That was also implied.
Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
She died in battle, so discount Valhalla?
I don’t think you get into Valhalla with a folding knife. She’s probably in the Dick’s Sporting Goods in the sky.
The Medium Place.
She will always have her posthumous Darwin award though
Is there another kind?
Yep. All people need to do is remove themselves from the gene pool. Often that involves removing themselves from the count of the living, but some just sterilize themselves in some stupid way.
Darwin Awards
An "award" given to people who contribute the most to the evolution of humanity by removing their genes from the gene pool. Sometimes given to people who simply sterilize themselves, but most of the recipients have ended up dead because of their actions.
Basically, the concept is that people kill/injure themselves to the point where reproduction is no longer possible whilst doing something surrealistically stupid. By insuring that their stupid genes do not spread, they ultimately help humanity and thus recieve an award.
While the concept is funny enough, the actual awards are usually very mean spirited.
Since the award is for removing your ability to spread your genes, any self-inflicted stupid act that resulted in, eg castration, should be considered eligible.
Yes, but it's almost exclusively awarded to men.
I thought a Darwin award meant specifically that the recipient died. So I'm not getting this, if it's a joke or otherwise.
I think you can get it if you remove yourself from the gene pool. I think there were awards for men who accidentally castrated themselves before having children.