Americans are fucking psychos [cw: murder fantasies] (old.reddit.com)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[-] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

NoHedgehog252 164 points 19 hours ago

I value a slice of cheese and a Ritz cracker more than a burglar's life.

In fact, if I was offered the death of every burglar in exchange for getting punched in the face once, I would take the face punch and millions of dead burglars.

jesse-wtf

what bizarre genie fantasy is this person living in

"yes, you will get three wishes, but you'll also get two black eyes and a bloody nose." ???

Hotdogman_unleashed 53 points 19 hours ago

Yeah if there was a magic button that once pressed, would eliminate all burglars from existence my regret is that I can only press it once.

?? you could keep pressing the button, even though it's pointless, but it sounds like this person is actually wishing to murder the same people multiple times instead of repeatedly pushing a button

maybe not, maybe somebody just needs to introduce them to stimming toys – "hey buddy, check it out! they make buttons you can keep pressing forever!"

[-] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

They think there are millions of burglars out there. Like it's a career demographic.

The media narrative on crime is so lazy, but it's persistent.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

I'm in five burglars' groups on LinkedIn. I started two.

[-] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago

Plot twist: it's the communism button

[-] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

smuglord : "Yeah, I think that even a dust bunny under my couch is worth protecting over a dirty rule-breaker!"

gigachad-hd : "Even if that rule-breaker did a HATE crime?"

maddened : "Any rule but that! Forgive and forget, is that so hard?"

4chan/reddit regularly prove the old joker quote right.

marx-joker : "You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds. Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!”

[-] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

"You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan".

maybe-later-kiddo Um, hate to break this to you, sweetie, but that's called the adults in the room that are making hard decisions to get shit done. maybe-later-honey

[-] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

I’m very surprised that I erased myself from existence. Totally forgot about that time I stole a matchbox car from a friend during a sleepover when we were in first grade.

this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2024

53 points (94.9% liked)

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