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I've heard of some people robbing a bank. The banks will generally give you the money if you threaten them and the camera will usually make it easy to identity you as a robber. You don't even need a gun, you just have to threaten people.
There was someone years ago that used a bank/prison to get their cancer treated. I was thinking along these lines. Wear clothing that can not conceal anything, pass the teller a note, place a squirt gun on the counter, pass it to them, and then lay on the ground until police arrive.
Former bank employee here. You don't need a squirt gun. Theoretically you can walk into a bank, tell the teller you're robbing them and demand $1, then sit patiently on a bench and await police. The problem is that the judge at your sentencing will see that you are not truly a danger and give you probation. You will also have to pay fines.
Bear in mind that prison is not free. You are charged every day you are there, and will receive the minimum care to keep you alive.
The best option is to get a bus ticket to a part of the US with fewer homeless folks and good safety nets, then get a social worker. They will require that you don't have any living family who can help, so bear that in mind.
+1. There are homeless shelters all over the US in every state, with varying services and capacity. Los Angeles is one of the worst cities for homeless services due to the weather keeping so many people there, it's a much easier place for people to live outside year-round than Michigan or Texas, for example.
I generally disagree with the entire plan, but if you're going to do anything like this, there is a large difference between getting caught with a weapon and not. Maybe even a squirt gun. You do not need to have a weapon to get convicted of robbing a bank.
Any suggestion of a weapon makes the robbery charge “aggrevated”