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Alcohol fuckin sucks(CW: substance abuse) (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Got back from family vacation, got on the dreaded Facebook, found out the woman who was my first gf 12 years ago, and subsequently a friend I talked to pretty frequently, had died of liver failure at 33 years old.

Looking back on it, when she was drinking 12 years ago it just seemed like a fun time. I didn't know she sustained that pace for a decade plus. Some other things took a toll too, like an eating disorder.

Anyways, I am fuckin sad, fuck alcohol, it's as bad as heroin but capitalism gotta make that $$$$$

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I haven't had a drink in like 5 months maybe. Haven't smoked since like 3. I'm getting close to smoking. I don't know.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I was finally able to quit smoking about a decade ago but it still took me like 3 years of actually trying.

What helped me with not smoking was doing theses little breathing exercises where I'd breath in and out slowly, almost as if I was taking a drag off of a cigarette.

Drinking is somehow way fucking harder. I've gone through 3 sober spells now and this one I was hoping to go a year and then re-evaluate. Because I think part of my drinking is related to my autism and part is related to depression. I was trying to go about it from that angle this time instead of "drink bad!" lol. Maybe the fact that I'm a bit more aware this time is why I'm beating myself up over it so much.

Starting today I'm hopping back on the wagon tho. I got weed for the weekends and occasional evenings for now so gonna go back to that, reading, and therapy and just keep trucking.