this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse
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"Mr. President - the needle is suddenly bad."
"When you say 'bad' is it bad or bad-bad or horrible 'n you're kissin' my ass."
"I... I mean..."
"Out with it man!"
"Horrible, sir."
"Fuck!" Biden grabs something that was the Resolute Desk and throws it at him with remarkable speed for an old guy. Luckily for the aide - his aim is shit. It smashes on wall.
"Was that an ashtray? We have ash trays in the Whi—"
"LBJ's! I was lookin' at it and now it's garbage! Get out - Corn Row or Pop Tart or Corn Pop or whatever your name is!" The aide just came back from visiting his parents in Puerto Rico.
The aide composes himself. "My name is Dylan, Mr. President."
"Dylan? What kind of name is that for a..." The President suddenly remembers other people are in the room. " I know things. I'm smart. I mean - I knew that. I'm the president."
"Right now you are correct," and Dylan leaves the room without even asking first.