this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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Lemmy Be Wholesome

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

That's limerence.

A more stable relationship is when feelings crystalize, but until then, there's limerence. Two-way limerent relationships are as unstable as a bottle of undiluted nitroglycerin. In any case, limerent relationships are quite common, and are the stuff of music, art, and poetry.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Limerence eh? Well ok.

There once was a man from Nantucket...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

There was a young man that said "damn"

For it certainly seems that I am

A creature that moves in determinate grooves

I'm not even a bus, I'm a tram

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I want you to finish it. No one ever finishes it. I don't even know the rest of the limerick because no one ever finishes it!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

As an actual man from Nantucket (though not that one) lemme fill you in:

 

There once was a man from Nantucket,

Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin,

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Omg that's awful, no wonder people never finish it!

Thank you so much 🙂

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

There are a metric fuckton of limericks that start with that phrase. A common one is:

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
    He said with a grin
    As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it." 
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Really? I never knew because I had never heard anyone ever finish one!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

OH yeah, lmao. They usually are (owing to the rhyme scheme started by "Nantucket") but not always.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I know a different version from the other two:

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who put all his shit in a bucket

And one day he tripped

And the bucket, it flipped

And he said “ah well fuck it”

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

This read just like the stuff that a girl with BPD would write about me haha.

How y’all think that went for me?

Oh and I’ve never heard that word. Thank you.

Edit: You’ve sent me down a rabbit hole.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm guessing poorly. I have BPD myself. She loved you up until she hated you.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It was crazy. “I love you! I can’t live without you! I’ll kill myself if you leave!”

Next day I’d find a hickey on her neck and get messages from some dude’s wife telling me her husband was fucking my wife.

“That’s not what happened. When I said, “what happened with us” I was talking about a conversation we had at the bar! His wife is lying! She’s crazy by the way. Everyone knows she lies about everything. That physical evidence isn’t physical evidence. You’re crazy. You made all of this up in your head.”

Just get help bud. Don’t let it fester and ruin your life.

When I finally realized I couldn’t salvage my family, she ended up involuntarily committed. She pulled all of her hair out and dragged us into court lying to everyone.

Good luck. Seriously.

Edit:

Oh yeah, as far as loved until hated, I was god until I wasn’t, then everyone in town was convinced I was a violent rapist and a monster until I was god again. Man. Glad all that is over.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

A central feature of limerence for Tennov was the fact that her participants really saw the object of their affection's personal flaws, but simply overlooked them or found them attractive.[32][28] Tennov calls this "crystallization", after a description by Stendhal in his 1821 treatise On Love. This "crystallized" version of a love object, with accentuated features, is what Tennov calls a "limerent object", or "LO".[33]

For Tennov, sexual desire is an essential aspect of limerence[34] but the desire for emotional commitment is greater.[35] The sexual desires of Tennov's interviewees were overshadowed by their desire for their beloved to contact them, invite them out and reciprocate their passion.[30]

Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often derided and dismissed as undesirable, some kind of pathology, ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.[36]

The wiki page you linked is saying kind of the opposite about crystalization then what you are saying.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Both uses are figurative, so we needn't fret.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Ty for teaching me such a beautiful word

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

God lemmy is worse than reddit with people being negative about others happiness. If you are so unhappy you need to spoil other peoples happiness you need to get help.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

I agreed with you up to the point where it appeared as if you felt that logophiles are miserable and spread misery. That being said, I appreciate your perspective and I'm sorry sharing what brings me joy has the opposite effect on you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

The guy's sharing information, it's all cool