this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
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Microblog Memes
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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
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Using a bidet is like a bird pooped on you and you just splashed that shit all over the place and got everything wet.
Steps for using a bidet:
Congrats, you're now a pro, an clean, pooper.
So poopy water goes everywhere and soggy TP goes all over my butt. You call that clean. Enjoy the splashed about bits of everyone else's poop around the thinnest and least protected membranes in your body. I'm not wasting any more break time replying to you.
I'm sitting here wondering.. Do you think a bidet uses the water currently in the bowl? Or that it sprays through that water? Because it doesn't.
No
Once again, it looks like you have never used a bidet yet somehow have the confidence to get everything wrong.
Or, you have tried to use a bidet and did some kind of three stooges bit in the process.
Clearly bidets are not for you, Sir.
How tf do you clean your butthole
In the shower. How clean does a butthole need to be?
You take a shower every time you take a shit or do you just shit, take your clothes off, head to the shower and spread your cheeks for a minute?
Please take the words of experience of this thread: your perspective is incorrect. It's OK to change your mind. Bidets don't plash shit everywhere and your but can be as clean as it could be without using soap.
Did your parents not teach you how to clean?
Did YOURS? Where I'm from, if you're playing in the water but the dishes still have food on them, you're in trouble.
If you really believe that, possibly you are too thick to be using a bidet.