Imagine the filth in your average public restroom.

Now imagine if they were all designed with powerful fountains that spray water up and out of the device if not intercepted by an anus.

I’m pretty sure “this is why we can’t have nice things” is true in this case, just pre-emptively.

I was in Japan for two weeks and not once did I use a toilet without a bidet. It was glorious.

I don't know if I'd trust a public bidet, the amount of poop people leave on the toilet seat doesn't give me confidence they wouldnt find a way to get their explosive slosh into the nozzle

Go for a portable one. Be clean and proud. Nobody is gonna ask you about the flask-thing anyway unless they want one. https://www.happypo.de/ No idea if it has a translated site, but it's quite butt-forward anyhow.

I got to learn to love those bidet toilets through my frequent (extended) work travels to Japan. Got one for myself at home when the bathroom was up for renovation. Now I am dreading any work trip to not-Japan because I'll have to shit like a barbarian for that time.

Do you guys have that much control over when and where you poop? I see this idea of "just hold it in until you get to your preferred location" fairly regularly and that seems insane to me. It's not like my poops are an imminent emergency every time but I definitely couldn't hold it in more than an hour or maybe two on the high end, and that would be pretty uncomfortable. That's not enough time to get home in many cases. In other words, when it hits, I shits.

to check that you’re actually pooping

AI will do that soon. Until then, managers can ask employees to donate vacation hours to make up for people who take too long in the bathroom.

I mean, If a bird shit on me, I wouldn't consider myself clean if I just hosed it off with water either. Soap needs to be involved. Bidet or TP is just a stopgap until you actually wash your ass. With soap.

I don't have too much experience with this style, so this is probably completely unfair... but I lived with a guy for a bit who brought his own portable version that hooks up to the sink... and dude would constantly leave water everywhere no matter what we'd tell him. So I def prefer the in-seat style based on my lack of trust for the humans using them.

With my pocket bidet, pocket pussy, pocket watch and pocket knife, I'm officially pocket-challenged.