this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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Didn't read all the replies but here is how I used to do it.
Drink a lot of water the night before and day of. Don't get water poisoning but get real close. You want as much of your piss to be water as possible.
Take a couple B12 vitamins a couple hours before the test. They will make you piss yellow even if it's all water.
That said, you might still be fucked. I've used this method to pass a test in under 24 hours but YMMV. My metabolism is ridiculous.
Good luck, comrade.
To explain, the person testing you will check for temperature and appearance. If it's too clear they may require another sample.
I went through a state-run program called drug court (you can have a little doxxing, as a treat. Afaik not many states have this program) and if you pissed too clear they'd make you give another sample. They didn't observe us directly, so maybe that's why. Someone just stood outside the bathroom and listened.
Refusal to give a new sample would result in a fail.
For the record I was 100% sober whilst going through this program and it's probably the best thing that happened to me. I chose not to be a CI and it got me (relatively) cheap outpatient rehab. 13+ hours a week of therapy and real consequences to my actions. ended a decade-long opiate addiction. So I never cheated on their tests, just conveying my experience.
I did spend my teenage years doing through multiple, less punitive, programs, which is where I draw this experience from.
Please hire me to be the pee listener at drug court I am normal and can be trusted to monitor the audio streams
That would make you a cop, comrade.
even if my only job is monitoring the streams and giving everyone an all-clear as they commence suspicious activity while i dick around on my phone?
Yes
I guess I would have no choice but to be a Dorner-style cop, no elaboration needed
Is water poisoning a real thing? What are the symptoms?
"Confusion, nausea, and vomiting are symptoms. Severe cases can cause seizures, coma, and death."
It waters down the blood, diluting electrolytes. It's a LOT of water. But it's something that is definitely possible.
Huh, must be like chugging ten 18L cooler bottles...