oh I’m absolutely keeping this article around for the next time some fuckhead tries to call me paranoid for correctly calling out some utterly obvious shit as 1024 bots coordinated by 3 guys on discord with shit to stir
really stretching the meaning of the word release past breaking if it’s only going to be available to companies friendly with OpenAI
Orion has been teased by an OpenAI executive as potentially up to 100 times more powerful than GPT-4; it’s separate from the o1 reasoning model OpenAI released in September. The company’s goal is to combine its LLMs over time to create an even more capable model that could eventually be called artificial general intelligence, or AGI.
so I’m calling it now, this absolute horseshit’s only purpose is desperate critihype. as with previous rounds of this exact same thing, it’ll only exist to give AI influencers a way to feel superior in conversation and grift more research funds. oh of course Strawberry fucks up that prompt but look, my advance access to Orion does so well I’m sure you’ll agree with me it’s AGI! no you can’t prompt it yourself or know how many times I ran the prompt why would I let you do that
That timing lines up with a cryptic post on X by OpenAI Altman, in which he said he was “excited for the winter constellations to rise soon.” If you ask ChatGPT o1-preview what Altman’s post is hiding, it will tell you that he’s hinting at the word Orion, which is the winter constellation that’s most visible in the night sky from November to February (but it also hallucinates that you can rearrange the letters to spell “ORION”).
there’s something incredibly embarrassing about the fact that Sammy announced the name like a lazy ARG based on a GPT response, which GPT proceeded to absolutely fuck up when asked about. a lot like Strawberry really — there’s so much Binance energy in naming the new version of your product after the stupid shit the last version fucked up, especially if the new version doesn’t fix the problem
I’m slowly feasting on this awful shit but I gotta jump in and say it, these posts are the most Russian thing I’ve ever seen:
Just to be clear, I'm not saying good words to any regime. I mean both the US sanction and the Russian invasion suck. I don't want another country bossing over what you can do, and I don't want another country pointing guns on your head either.
Russia is bad, but that doesn't mean I'm in support of bans like this without a reason. Just because you "have the reason to commit crimes" is not strong enough a reason to exclude you! How child's bully it is!
a bunch of these posts are literally the exact documented template that the Internet Research Agency used. so many of them degrade into weird broken English as the poster tries and fails to modify the script for the situation.
this is fucking amazing, seriously. if you want to sharpen your instincts for what foreign state trolling looks like, these are the posts that’ll do it.
Lionsgate hopes to save “millions and millions” replacing all those tawdry storyboard artists and visual effects crew with “cutting-edge, capital-efficient content creation opportunities,” said vice chairman Michael Burns.
that sounds entirely unfit for human consumption. I can’t wait for Saw XV: Capital-Efficient Content Creation Opportunity! pump that melty-faced banal nonsense straight into my consumer veins!
god, so this is actually the best the AI researchers can do with the tools they’ve shit out into the world without giving any thought to failure cases or legal liability (beyond their manager on ~~slack~~Teams claiming it’s been taken care of)
so fuck it, let’s make the defamation machine a non-optional component of windows. we’ll just make it a P0 when someone who could actually get us in legal trouble complains! everyone else is a P2 that never gets assigned.
But don’t worry! Google’s AI summaries will soon have ads!
dear fuck, pasting ads onto the part of Google search that’s already known to be unreliable and annoying at best seems like a terrible idea. for a laugh, let’s see if there’s any justification for this awful shit in the linked citation
Ads have always been an important part of consumers’ information journeys.
oh these people are on the expensive drugs huh
FAR AI tries to imply that the Go bots are still not merely superhuman, but far superhuman: “this result demonstrates that even far superhuman AI systems can fail catastrophically in surprising ways.” Uh huh. [FAR AI]
fuck it’s so disappointing that everything in this space has to be communicated through the cracked lens of critihype — that even the utterly normal failings of a misengineered system must be misrepresented, in true techfash style, as further proof that the system is powerful and is only one more breakthrough away from perfection
In April 2014, Gerard created a RationalWiki article about Effective Altruism, framing the subculture as “well-off libertarians congratulating each other on what wonderful human beings they are for working rapacious [s---]weasel jobs but choosing their charities well, but never in any way questioning the system that the problems are in the context of,” “a mechanism to push the libertarian idea that charity is superior to government action or funding,” and people who “will frequently be seen excusing their choice to work completely [f---]ing evil jobs because they're so charitable.”
it's fucking amazing how accurate this is, and almost a decade before SBF started explaining himself and never stopped
given how fucking embarrassing this has been for OpenAI, I’m expecting a lot of variants of the current “uhh I listened to the voice and it didn’t sound like her to me” shit take from the peanut gallery, which really falls apart given there’s enough of a resemblance that OpenAI had to take down the voice and refuses to give a straight answer on the sources used to create it
also both altman and a fuckton of breathless journalists compared the fucking thing with one of Johansson’s performances? like I said, fucking embarrassing shit for OpenAI
I’ve worked in offices with booze, ping pong, and arcade games!
but not for us. it’s used as a hiring incentive and plonked into the middle of the office, but any use of those things at work will quickly result in a PIP. the booze, ping pong, and arcade games are for techbros only — the founders and their nepotism hires, specifically. any engineer caught using any of those things clearly isn’t working hard enough, because they haven’t converted their entire body and mind into a machine for writing shit code for shit capitalists.
STOP USING AMPERSANDS
- years of typography but no practical use found for fancy and
- wanted to write shorter sentences anyway for a laugh? we had a tool for that: it’s called “emojis”
- “yes, please give me some A&W root beer to wash down my mac & cheese” — statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged
look at what the ampersand users have been demanding our Respect for this whole time, with all the & & & we’ve built for them:

they have played us for absolute fools
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oh yeah totally, open transphobia and fascism is just as bad as being
the fuck is wrong with you. this is what centrism does to a motherfucker.
(and for the record, devault’s firmly wedged in my brain as a particularly dramatic neoliberal with a checkered past, but the fucker brings receipts (yes this is the same link in the OP that our guest decided to complain about, go read it because it’s fucking damning))