I’ve noticed a pattern in my friendships that I’m struggling with, and I’d love to hear other people’s perspectives.

Whenever I suggest something I genuinely want to do with friends, the plans always get changed around — often to fit schedules or budgets — until they no longer resemble what I originally suggested. By the time we meet up, I usually don’t enjoy the activity itself, though I still value being with my friends.

This cycle tends to repeat:

I suggest something → it gets reshaped into something I don’t want → we meet up but I’m bored/miserable → then we don’t talk for 6–12 months until someone breaks the silence.

Recently, I’ve made a change: I started doing the things I enjoy on my own, without waiting for friends. For the first time, I’ve actually been happy doing what I love — but it also means I’m doing them alone.

Part of why I’m trying this is because I’ve lost friends in the past from being visibly miserable all the time when I adapted to things I didn’t actually like. Honestly, it feels like for most of my life I never really chose my friends — I just adapted to the people around me. Now, I’d really like to choose friends who genuinely align with what I enjoy.

So here’s my question: Is it wrong to want to choose my friends? How do you balance doing what makes you happy with maintaining friendships, especially if your happiness and your current friend group don’t line up?

Any thoughts, advice, or personal experiences would be really helpful.

"What's your go-to tool as a programmer these days?"

My brain, same as it always has been!

"Rust's compiler prevents common bugs" So does skill. No offense to you, but, this trope is getting so tiresome. If you like the language then go ahead and use it. What is it with the rust crowd that they have to come acrosslike people trying to convert your religion at your front door?

I don't think that casting a range of bits as some other arbitrary type "is a bug nobody sees coming".

C++ compilers also warn you that this is likely an issue and will fail to compile if configured to do so. But it will let you do it if you really want to.

That's why I love C++

I came here to vent; I'm sick of being told that I'm non-confrontational and I avoid confrontation, I don't. I avoid confrontation with you because you need to be correct so I'd rather not waste time by arguing with you and instead just find a way to solve the problem in which you're correct and the problem is solved. And it's objectively wrong to say about me that I avoid confrontation because I do have regular confrontation with specific people who do end it.

But if you think conflict builds character you're not going to get any of that character building with me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry nobody owes it you which means no one owes you a confrontation which means I'm not avoiding confrontation.

My Siberian cat gets hot. I mean like noticeably hot.

Like a couple minutes after I took this picture he flipped himself over and I went to pet him and I could feel just how hot his fur is.

I now understand why he's always agitated, prefers sleeping on hardwood floors and stone and leather, and doesn't like to cuddle with me or sit on my lap!

Is there something I could realistically do to help him? Especially because I'm in New Jersey and it's about to turn summer.

I'm even fine with trimming his long luxurious fur, for him

I know he used to have that TV show I never watched but Pam mentioned it on the office.

I remember seeing him in home alone but I was a small kid, I didn't get who he was.

Hell I even remember liking Elon Musk the celeb for abit.

So why was Trump ever cool or popular or famous?

Basically just like the rescue ranger but instead you shoot it at enemies and it swaps your position for the enemies and the enemies for you.

The meta would basically be to play close support, pick lone enemies and teleport them to your friends or sentry. Or you could jump off a cliff and swap places with an enemy.

I could imagine this being funny on high tower or maybe harvest.

Edit: thought of a name

A few months ago I posted him sleeping on the floor concerned bc I thought he was sad...

I guess he kinda was bc he's gotten better.

He doesn't spend all day with me but he enjoys the house and comes around whenever he feels like it.

Original tiktok (click if you're ok tiktok tracks these links)

It's been like this for a few days lol