Had spare time so I stopped at a coffee shop walking to my job. Overpriced chain, ostensibly better than Starbucks but if you remove the aesthetic it's indistinguishable; a brigade of coffee servants standing shoulder to shoulder, all dressed in mandatory twee outfits and aprons, hands rapidly working the syrups, cups, jugs, and spoons at their disposal with the frenetic efficiency of a factory assembly line. The devilish little receipt printer is blurping out online orders faster than they can make them, so the tickets are spread out over the entire counter, each with an empty cup on top waiting to be filled. The tiny shop, a subdivided subdivided subdivided piece of prime urban center real estate, is crowded elbow to elbow with suits and business casuals, all staring at their phones and not noticing when the workers call their names because they didn't take out their air pods. I watch the nonstop production for ten minutes, getting annoyed at the wait and then chastising myself because they're all working very fast and it really looks like it sucks to work here. Finally my coffee is ready and I try to convey gratitude as I scoop it up and head to the park across the street. I listen to traffic and construction noises as I sip my incredibly middling coffee, and I feel like an asshole for even going in there, but there aren't really any better options around here anyways. I regret everything. Then I see a puffy little bird and it cheers me up and I think about keeping some seeds in my backpack. Time to go to work.
Woly
Tidying up your house before your crush comes over, call that Sprung Cleaning.
John McCain Spaghetti Head is a great band name
(Technically the stick buses are trains but the train tracks are just blades of grass that they lay down and they keep blowing away, so everyone forgets and calls them buses.)
In Bugtown everyone's houses are made out of leaves and the buses are just a long stick with acorn-top wheels that everyone climbs up on and one guy holds onto the back and pushes it around. They can't steer very well so they all go in straight lines and if you need to make a turn you have to hop off and jump on another stick going in a different direction.
Thanks, I hate it
Goddamn that is well done. I can read it in their voices perfectly; I even hear the dice roll in my head.
Death to plastic; embrace glassware tradition.
People think lizard people are bad because they're humans mixed with lizard characteristics, but actually they're bad because they're lizards mixed with human characteristics 🤢
tURNS OUT YOPU CAN TYPE REALLY FAST IF YOU DONT CORRECRT ANTHYRTHING