Set your expectations: networking is complex and the configuration you're hoping for is particularly complex. It sounds to me like you're looking for a split-horizon configuration where local traffic stays local but internet traffic is routed over VPN. But also you want that configuration only for specific apps.
It's not the *arr programs that are tricky, it's that any service you try to configure this way will be some of the hardest sysadmin work.
I always think of Java as the absolute gold standard of stack traces. Sure, in any given debugging session I don't care about most of the stack. But across all sessions, I've used all parts of the trace and I wouldn't want anything elided.
JS is my least-favorite because it provides a stack-trace so I get tricked into thinking it'll be useful. But since it doesn't cross callbacks it provides no depth.