Yeah I know! It doesn't even have a remote control for the vibration feature.
Lost_My_Mind
Just wait until you can't see it anymore!
Now bend over.
I feel like every comment or joke I could possibly make is already obvious to everyone the second everyone read the story.
So instead I'm going to scream into this pillow, cry uncontrollably, and then punch these pancakes as I try to come to grips with how this situation will have zero real long lasting consequences for the cops responsible.
Ya know, I was going to downvote, until I saw the username. This is just on-brand for you!
Psssshhhhh!!!!! Faaaaaaaake!
Taylors cat is much fluffier, and doesn't have hitler's haircut.
Ah, so he has self hatred, and bad handwritting. I can relate.
I....can't tell what is happening here. Is he having an orgasm? Is he supposed to be a priest, or a slave?
That tracks.
THIS is your big "You won't believe what happened to me...." story???
sigh
When I was 14, I took the power cord for the original PS1 and shaved the rubber off the end until metal prongs were sticking out. Then I noticed if the outlet end was plugged in, and you touched the metal prongs on the other end, you couldn't drop it. It would electricute you, but it would also stick to your skin for 5-10 seconds as it electricuted you.
So being a 14 year old male, I did the only logical thing. I put it on my penis.
It was quite shocking!
I mean......I'd be upset too if my wife apperently made a habbit of cooking dirt with M&Ms as a dish. Then somehow teleported me outside my own house. And apperently changed the locks.
What is even happening in this comic???
If "TomHanks" is his username on every other service, like twitter, and youtube, and tiktok, and instagram, then he would want to use it when he comes to the fediverse. Now, if only ONE person can have the username TomHanks (and it just so happens to be @Lemmy.World), then he could send a cease and disist letter, and if that doesn't work, a lawsuit. Madonna did it in the 90s with Madonna.com.
However, if [email protected] can exist, and [email protected] can exist, and [email protected] can exist and.....and.....and.....then it gets a little impossible for him to really own that username, because it can be duplicated on an infinate amount of instances, some that may not even exist when he shows up to the fediverse.
But if only one instance can have TomHanks, than he could absolutely show courts he's had a vested interest and usership of that identity and thus that's HIS username. Even on services he's never signed up for. Like if he doesn't have an instagram account at all, but someone else starts using TomHanks on instagram, he can take it to the courts that they are not allowed to do that, because that's his username.
But the way the fediverse is currently set up right now, that's not feasible. Because he could enter a court battle with [email protected], and then 5 more instances with his username popup. And eventually it becomes harder and harder to prove that people know his ownership of that username if there's 500 other people also using the same username. It's the reason you can't email celebrities. They can't control their presence in email, so they don't use that as their identity.
The argueing in my head.