Iamsqueegee

No, we don’t. Just because you’re reporting it doesn’t make it so. I’m not going into debt for some piece of plastic in nice packaging.

“You’ve been stabbed by the Morgul Blade of the Nazghul, a wound that never truly heals.” “I’ve had worse.”

I used to do a lot of traveling and slept in rest stops and 24 hour Walmart parking lots (they allow it, or at least used to). Here’s a little pro-tip for security. Run your front seatbelts down through the doors built in handles, across the seats and into the buckle. Pull it as tight as you can. If anyone picks the lock while you’re asleep they won’t be able to open the door. I never had it needed but I slept more soundly knowing that extra bit of security was in place. Outside of that, be sure you have more water than you need. Keep an unopened, sealed gallon that you never open, or rotate and replace as needed. Keep your batteries charged. I don’t play baseball but I’d travel with an old mitt and bat. Put a long sock over the end of your bat. It’ll give you an extra swing if needed. No shame in carrying mace/bear spray and a whistle, either. Keep a decent first aid kit, too, with a large bottle of rubbing alcohol. And rolls of toilet paper! Rest stops and port-o-potties aren’t always that clean. Rubbing alcohol on the toilet seats is a simple way to keep sanitary. Baby wipes are the best when you haven’t been able to shower for a minute. Enjoy your travels!

Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.

Dimpus Burger Guy: [into microphone] Double baca cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?

Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. [into microphone] Don't spit in that cop's burger.

Farva: ' Yeah, thanks.

Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.

“The pointy end goes into the other man.”

Zippy says “If you can’t say something nice, say something surrealistic.”

I only knew him from that show. The episode where he gets bonked on the head and plays piano threw me! Brilliant.

Some rabbit’s gonna have the coolest keychain ever.

Farofa deez nuts!

Magnified anus-fleas

Distilled or deionized? Deionized doesn’t conduct electricity. Also, don’t mix cooling plate materials. Use all copper or all aluminum. One of them will cause the other to corrode if sharing water.

You give full-size Snickers once…