I know it's impossible to judge oneself fairly, but believe me when I say my entire way of thinking revolves around fairness & the actual "right thing to do" after all sides are considered. I always try to look at things from every angle I can think of to "get the big picture," and decide what is the best, most correct answer to any situation. It's pretty much what I'm all about.

As such, I've long proudly considered myself a bit of an SJW. I've got too many issues and responsibilities of my own to be much of an activist, but I feel I've done my reasonable best to figure out the truth of things while still trying to remain open to new information.

But fuck this. I've had enough of how shitty humanity can be. I knew from Israel's actions that even those historically known as victims can be shitty, but I've just had my own personal revelation from an extremely marginalized group I've always supported. And I'm fucking disappointed as hell.

This post in a transgender community was about AOC knocking on Riley Gaines by saying "Maybe if you channeled all this anger into if you channeled all this anger into swimming faster you wouldn’t have come in fifth." I adore AOC, but felt this response was a bit below the belt because it came off to me as attacking Gaines' physical performance rather than her shitty take. IOW, attacking the body, not the mind.

I made the mistake of saying this, thinking that a community that one might reasonably expect to be among the most sensitive towards topics like shaming physical aspects of a person that they only have so much control over would at least give it some consideration and thoughtful responses even if they didn't agree.

Wow, was I wrong.

I was pulled upon mercilessly as if I had said Gaines' was absolutely correct, which in no way had I done. I was deliberately misinterpreted so people could attack without any logic, reason, or any semblance of open-minded discussion (from a group I would expect to be among the most open-minded out there).

I tried and tried a dozen different ways to get my point across as respectfully as possible, but nobody seemed to care about any of that - literally calling me a "shitty person" and refusing to provide any justification or examples where I had fit that description.

Ultimately, many comments were deleted - most unjustly, IMHO. Then I was banned for "misinformation." WHAT misinformation?

I feel more alone now than ever on this planet full of incredibly crappy humans on all sides. And I'm just done. Fuck you (almost) all. I'm already only still bothering to live because my disabled spouse is dependent upon me, but I just don't think I can do this all alone anymore. I'm so tired of trying to be reasonable and fair in a world that not only doesn't respect me for it, but actively tramples on, takes advantage of, and otherwise screws me over for it. I'm done.

Good night. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning, maybe I just won't. Anything

Fuck this.