They're really working hard at distancing themselves from that "Don't be evil" motto.

But if I hide my history, I will not have the satisfaction of wasting the time of a belligerent no-lifer...

Write Once Read Never media?

They never said they wanted their current database.

Nearly lethal levels of sarcasm, I'd say.

Is it because Wine has improved, or because Windows has not?

A SATA SSD is a good way to speed up an aging machine, one without M2 slot. But glad to know I qualify as a professional user.

The trick was closing down your PC company before the two years are out.

Yeah, but saying "Our codebase is so terrible Linux keep showing us new bugs we won't fix" or "We can't sell your personal data with Proton" is worse PR...

Banning teenagers was considered less practical.

Your Windows 10 machine? Microsoft disagree.

The only complex part of the hardware is the HP cartridge controller, and you have at least part of the work here: https://hackaday.io/project/176931-hp-printer-cartridge-control-module/details