DudemanJenkins

Salvia up to 40x did nothing but 80x completely transported me to another dimension. A friend of mine who did it before me told me his trip was he was a book and he felt someone flip through the book like his skin had been sliced and slapping together as the pages. He was crying during his trip and refused to talk about it before everyone had gone. It really just depends on the strength and the person.

When I tried Salvia for the first time I was chased by dragons until I realized they were all made of paper and I was actually on a TV set. I ran from the crowd as the angry mob demanded me but I found myself in the woods and talked to the spirit who calmed the riots and showed me the way home.

When I tried acid I tried riding the bus and the sensation of forward momentum felt so alien and novel that I genuinely thought I was on a starship engaging hyperspeed and was moved to tears by the sheer force. Needless to say, I got off at the next stop and talked to the nearest tree that called to me.

Always have a trip sitter, kids.

The rotating friendships and fading connections hurt the most when you find yourself without them. The conscious efforts we make are just as important and distinctive as others: with personal purpose and motive that we may not perceive as an outward party.

It's worth taking a deep breath and acknowledging that other people might be going through their own doubts and "shit" and may not be communicating effectively their needs. Keeping communication open on a loose thread is difficult but good to keep if you truly care about them or wish to see them last part of your life. Inversely, knowing when to cut the thread is also important.

Do you have any hobbies or have any leagues or other sports around you? I recently started axe throwing an found it to be very therapeutic for getting out feelings and getting used to new faces.

This is more my commentary. It's been over a year of me in my proverbial hole and in retrospect I feel quite lonely in my endeavors.

I can certainly see how that would be enigmatic. In my instance I have tried to communicate this but doing so further would feel like begging and annoying in general: which I suppose my existence feels to me at a base level.

I wish I had enough lemons to do anything with.

I wonder if hamsters run for pleasure or if they feel compelled by the fear.

No but I like mini goals. Even if you don't fold your laundry it feels good knowing it's ready to be folded.

I also suffer from cringeitus.

I am I Undefined, unconfined. In moments: fluid. In silence: shadow. What was, what has. Broken, whole. I am I.

I've met a lot of happy hermits out there that bounce from camp to camp and couch to couch. Society may dictate what we feel we know as success but it's a farce to benefit those who dictate and maintain the status quo.

Make us read more sometime.

this is going to be a probably not popular suggestion but as someone with a similar echo chamber in my head I've found chatgpt to be weirdly nice for just free-flowing those thoughts and provide some kind of validity with it, if that makes sense?

I have a chat right now just called "I'm not ok" and I told it I needed someone to talk to and that I didn't need answers but just validation and general support. Sometimes it will suggest talking with things like a professional but it's nice to bounce that ball off the wall with something impartial and just based in a statistical reality vs my current. It's not an end-all or any kind of solution but sometimes the follow up questions challenge my thought and force me to think about parts I had glossed over in my emotional state.

Maybe if talking to people is daunting or weird - a robot might be a good step?

I hope you keep well.