AdmiralDoohickey

It is very tiresome and painful for me (AuDHD) because of the:

1. Open office setup which leaves me unable to slack comfortably when I have reached my limit, leading me to overwork
2. The forced socializing because I have to negotiate with the rest of the developers and testers, while having to mask throughout the whole day (I reached the point where most days I don't eat with the rest of the devs but I just eat alone to recharge)
3. The fact that most of my working time consists of waiting for the programs to compile, while I just scroll on the phone in waiting mode and feeling very understimulated
4. The long commute (2h back and forth), which combined with the 8h of work have left me with no time and energy for my personal interests. I imagine neurotypicals also suffer greatly from this, but as my interests are a fundamental part of my identity I feel like my self has been completely squashed to fit into the "job mode" box
5. My work PC is monitored so I can't even go into this site or talk with my leftist gf and friend group (also occasional drug users). I need this communication and shitposting time as a break from work yet I don't have it. I feel socially castrated
6. The daily status report meetings force me to work even on days where I can't fucking take it anymore just so I have something to say, and also interrupt me while I am working by forcing a context switch

I just cope by using drugs bi-weekly (pregabalin, psychedelics and dissociatives) but even then instead of enjoying the trip I always come back to venting about work and capitalism to my poor gf

Have you found some trick to survive while working, without getting burnt out? I want to listen to your experiences. If this post isn't appropriate for this comm, feel free to delete it

The fact that a song someone created thousands of years ago in Greece ended up being sung by a Japanese voice synthesizer co-developed with a Spanish university is insane to me, how can this exist

Listen to it, it's pretty good. The group that made it also created arrangement albums for various Falcom games and this time some pro composers like Raita and Eichiro Yanagi have also contributed

I am sitting on a desk PC the whole day at work, which I believe has caused my ability to play games on my PC to diminish. I have found the following solutions, so I am asking to see if any of you has done something like that:

1. Buy a console (the easiest)
2. Connect the PC and the TV to a router to form an Ethernet LAN, and stream from the PC to the console using Steam Link
3. Connect the GPU's HDMI output to the TV's and the computer screen's inputs using a 1x2 HDMI switch

With solutions (2) and (3) converting the PC to a console so I can sit on the couch and relax.

Also, have you found your tastes change after starting work? I used to be into games with complex stories and/or challenging gameplay but now I feel to tired for that.

Thanks

She wanted me to make this post, because she is not sure if she is just "weird" or if she can get diagnosed with ADHD and/or autism and make her life a bit easier. The symptoms that bother her the most are the following:

• Sometimes walks away from uninteresting conversations without realizing (with familiar people) with strangers, feels like being held hostage.

• Intense focus to the point of forgetting to eat, drink water and neglecting to go to the toilet.

• Periods of low mood and anhedonia vs periods of intense obsession(?) and excitement with some activity (specific game or game genre, desktop customization).

• Diagnosed with dysthymia and BPD traits (due to self-harm).

• Suicidal thoughts since 14 yo but never made an attempt.

• Low self esteem.

• Persistent interests for many years in which she has made great contributions.

• Does not like to go out much and feels dirty after going out.

• Very annoyed by insects, afraid of bees and wasps.

• She is a perfectionist.

• In kindergarten, she would not go out for recess if she was still in the middle of doing something (finishing a drawing).

• When learning how to do something, she liked repeating the process e.g. making boxes out of paper, drawing the same image.

• Always sits with her knees close to her chest.

• Occasionally rocks back and forth or from side to side sometimes repeats certain sounds / jingles / song melodies.

• She thinks in images instead of words, except when having depression-related thoughts (e.g. "I am useless"), or positive thoughts ("I can do this") or when daydreaming scenes with dialogue.

• Because of this, speaking is hard for her as she has to translate the images to words.

• Performs great at work but gets burned out quickly.

• Is bad at socializing, and has cut contact with her old friends and does not want to go back to having friends

• Zones out of conversations.

My gf has the correct political vibes so to speak, but no theoretical basis or knowledge of history. However, she is interested in watching documentaries on the subject, so which are the ones you found most valuable? Thanks in advance

I finally found a job so I am going to move out of my parents' house soon, in order to live in the large city where the job is located with my gf. I should be happy about finally becoming independent and being able to see her every day, however I only feel dread about the transition, the lack of free time for my interests (probably intensified due to my shit executive functioning) and the fact that I will miss my family. How did you handle such a transition?

I am in the interview process for a job in a research group and it is going well so far. The only issue is that I was attracted to the person that interviewed me and I am going to be working with if I get hired.

My girlfriend is the most important person in the world for me so I don't want to risk catching feelings for someone else, but I also need to find a job if I am to rent a place to finally live with her.

What would you do in my case? Would you stop the interview process and try to find a job elsewhere or would you go for it and trust that you would do the right thing?

This question might sound deranged to you, but I have the full autism/ADHD/OCD combo so I am very out of touch with how the average person thinks.

Other themes made me feel like a heinous person, but they never made me doubt my connection to the most important person of my life.

Why the fuck should I have to constantly doubt whether I am truly attracted or not to the girl that I fell for after a single conversation?

Why should I hyperfixate on small differences of opinion and catastrophize about them instead of just feeling grateful about the wonderful person in my life?

Why should I worry about her cheating in me, or the inverse when everything is going well?

I am just so so so so so tired of this shit dude

I reduced my 150mg / day dosing by just 10mg and I already feel depressed, very irritable and self harming out of nowhere for the last 3 days. Am I doing this too fast?

For me it is Rabbit & Steel, bc I want to play bullet hell FFXIV with my gf: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2132850/Rabbit_and_Steel/

Other than that and Silksong (never ever) I don't have anything else on my radar for 2024 and beyond (it doesn't help that I am picky)

Or the people who say that are obsessed with subtlety and want everything to conform to the Western standards for art due to cultural hegemony brainworms? Sometimes I feel very guilty for engaging with this sort of media instead of something more "serious"