this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 161 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Learn to wrap your burritos you suckface food noob.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

100%. I've never had this happen to me. It's not even really that hard to get the hang of wrapping a burrito.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Wrapping no but it is hard to get the amount of innards right. I’m just too excited to eat all those good guts. But then I have a burrito bowl, oh well.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (5 children)

are you gatekeeping burritos 😳

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 102 points 9 months ago (9 children)

This is only a problem if you can't roll a burrito...

[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago (1 children)

and for the gluttons who overstuff their burritos so they're difficult to keep closed.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Guilty. It's not about the amount I want to eat, it's about reaching my ideal burrito/stuffing ratio.

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 9 months ago (1 children)

When someone says their burritos won't stay shut I immediately know that they don't know what they're doing.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I bought a master lock for my burrito, it can be opened with another burrito.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Is this a common problem? I've almost never had a burrito fall apart on me unless it outright rips--I once made the mistake of ordering a burrito in Scotland, and that was pretty formless, but it was also less a burrito and more an embarrassment hiding under an ill-fitting tortilla.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (13 children)

My general rule of thumb is that I don’t eat Mexican food in places where there aren’t many Mexican people.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

I know next to nothing about Hispanic food in general, but I've gotten a few food truck burritos in southern California and it opening was not on my list of concerns.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Pan-sear your burritos shut.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (6 children)

If you are still having a hard time, a thin layer of cheese to form a crust seal never fails

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

At work we just lick one edge of the tortilla like an envelope before we serve it

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 9 months ago (6 children)

I like to crisp up my burrito in a pan after I roll it. if you brown the side with the opening first then the juices trying to escape soften up the tortilla enough to get cooked together. It's like welding a burrito shut.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Wouldn't your hand work really well to keep the burrito closed while you're eating it?

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I feel like nori would work, no?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Right? Japan has only been doing this for 1,200 years or so.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

Why not use a small piece of Nori (the salty Sushi seaweed) and moisten it up with water and use that?

I did this for years

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago

Because I have opposable thumbs and have successfully eaten thousands of burritos without tape.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

I like Nori, but that's a whole different flavour profile to most burritos

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

That's what this looks like

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You're telling me this ain't nori? Why.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

On this episode of redundant inventions that already have a better solution...

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"Edible" does not mean "good".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (3 children)

The sticker on most fruits sold in American grocery stores that contains a bar code is nominally edible.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (5 children)

My ass is nominally edible.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

It’s called not using a cold ass tortilla

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Uhhhhh, fuck no. Some children invented this shit back in 1999. It was on Figure it Out. How fucking dare you.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Call me up when they invent edible zippers.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (2 children)
  1. have good technique
  2. really big tortillas
  3. you can wrap it in foil
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

Thank-fucking-science, it's about time

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I remember an episode of figure it out on nickelodeon a long time ago that was exactly this.

YouTube

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (6 children)

a properly constructed burrito is wrapped in aluminum foil and can be eaten, even while walking, without making a mess.

edible tape sounds like something with useful applications, but i am sad for the people who believe burritos require this.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Yeah, but now I can't open it up to make sure that no one cummed in my burrito...

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If your burrito doesn't stay closed, the person making your burrito had no idea what the hell they were doing. This is a Chipotle problem.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Who the fuck doesn't know how to hold a burrito?

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

That's not a burrito, that's a clutch purse. Learn how to roll a burrito.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Corporate food has created unholy tasteless dry abominations called "tortillas". They have convinced Americans that this is what tortillas are. They have played us for absolute fools.

Real tortillas are freshly made wet dough immediately squished and cooked before forming burrito. They are delicious and sticky enough to hold on their own. It's perfect but not mass producible.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

That looks like disgusting mold

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