this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2024
763 points (98.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 209 points 10 months ago (8 children)

I propose a new, more threatening kind of control flow.

do {
  /* something */
} or else {
  /* you don't want to find out */
}
[–] [email protected] 59 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Some C++ style guides suggest the following naming convention for functions that crash on any error

OpenFileOrDie()
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (4 children)

PHP has the always wonderful (and perfectly functional) syntax of

logUserIn() or die();

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Personally, I like to call catched exception variables up, so for a rethrow I can throw up;.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 10 months ago

this is just a menacing try/catch!

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

It_would_be_a_shame_if(condition)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

The better try-catch. More intuitive if you ask me.

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[–] [email protected] 105 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Please God let this be a humorous post that somehow does not also find a way to manage to come true...

[–] [email protected] 89 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I would have bought it if they said ifnot instead, it's the same number of characters and wouldn't require a major parser overhaul to support keywords with a ' in the name.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (1 children)

i mean, “unless” tends to be the usual term for an “if not” keyword in languages that implement such a thing

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Which is awful and incredibly confusing. I hate ruby

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, to be clear, I don't like it, I don't like it one bit:-P.

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[–] [email protected] 99 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

nocap(frfr){

}

[–] [email protected] 78 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Reduce exclamation marks!? Great Scott!!!!! Is there a shortage of punctuation in the future!?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago

You could have saved two, all you had to do was use the interrobang. You’re a monster.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

All known deposits were depleted

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 53 points 10 months ago (3 children)
aint (something) {
    somethingElse()
}
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[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I believe that resolves the same as

ain't!(!untrue)

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Why not just ifnot? Same count of characters but an o instead of a possibly problematic single quote.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago

I think it's just capitalizing on a trend to add n't to otherwise noy contractions, to make them into contractions. Contractionn'ts, if you will

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Yes... how is "reducing exclamation marks" a good thing when you do it by adding a ' (not to be confused with , ´,or’` ..which are all different characters).

Does this rely on the assumption that everyone uses a US QWERTY keyboard where ! happens to be slightly more inconvenient than typing '?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If someone really wanted to add it, probably the best would be to use unless

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Still not as good as whence

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Is this a reference to something because I’d love to read it if you have a time to share.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago (3 children)

"Help's with readability"? You know what else helps? Not using contractions and introducing an unbalanced single quote.

[–] bdonvr 46 points 10 months ago (2 children)

If they'd'nt've done that, it'd've been better. Agreed.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago

I'm struggling to understand if this is true or ifn't true

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

Imagine the regex needed to highlight code with that extra single quote.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (7 children)

I'd take a not or "if not" operator tbh.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm just hoping this paves the way to code with Southern dialect

iffun is == true
iffun ain't == false
[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

May I introduce you to the joys of #define and creating your own horrible sub language

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)
ifn't (myNum don't= 3 && myStr ain'tnull'rblankish)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Please remain calm, we are sending paramedics to your location.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

With ahit like that its not microsoft java its now microsoft javascript

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

This can't be for real. I'll stick with C11 thank you.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago

Here you dropped this:

#define ifnt(x) if (!(x))
[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

reminds me of #ifndef instead of #if !defined(...)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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