this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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top 20 comments
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[–] [email protected] 67 points 10 months ago

He graduated to Dad.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh no, disowned isn't nearly far enough. Dad should have responded, "My hands are named crows because they are part of a murder."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Can’t stand an Opal.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 10 months ago

“You may sit at the family table, but we do not grant you the rank of family member.”

[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago

Does he have a child anywhere he might be unaware of? Because that was a dad joke and a half, right there.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I would have been happy knowing that my son is already turning into a father.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

"You either die a son, or live long enough to become the father."

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

His first clue they didn't like him was the fact his name's Taylor. It's a job title not a name.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Tailor is a job title. Taylor is a job title for someone not very good at tailoring.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Or a tailor that never learned to spell. Im actually jealous. My name is Brock Shitshoveler and I bet you can guess what I do for a living.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nice to meet you. I'm Wanda. Wanda Givehead. I work at the street corner of Elm and Miller.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Can you guys stop flirting with each other?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Taylor is ye olde spelling.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I blame the sign painter.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

"Son, your mother may have brought you into this world, but I can take you out of it."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Tl;Dr op's folks know what's up

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

did you just tldr a tweet?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

a ~~tweet~~#xhit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Ó hogy a ménkű csapjon beléd te utolsó anyaszomorító te