this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2023
54 points (95.0% liked)

Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

There's probably not any one single thing that I would do but interestingly enough I was charged once with a misdemeanor for providing food to the homeless and arrested, finger printed, and then released. At the hearing, the arresting officer failed to show and the judge, being a rather empathetic and progressive individual had the following to say to me:

Since the arresting officer has seen fit not to respect this court's time, I am formally dropping the charges. I will go off of the record for one moment: Young man, some laws were intended to be broken. I applaud you for choosing wisely. Back on the record: I will order the record of arrest expunged because I see no benefit to society in having a record of this young man's arrest for performing what is essentially good civil service. And so ordered

I am reminded that there are good people in this world.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Sadly these good people are not enough in these positions of power to make the world a better place :(

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The judge is awesome and so are you. Which stupid law was that btw?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I don't remember now because it was a long time ago. It happened when I lived in AZ.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

They said it happened in Arizona.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

That's beautiful, thanks for sharing. People like you and the judge, who will go against the grain to do the right thing, are what let me hope that we as a species might someday be able to get our shit together.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Of course there are good people on the world bro. You’re one of them.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Suck our dicks, MI6

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

My always seeing through your tricks is a surety, Homeland Security

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'll bring the hot sauce.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Join last generation and sabotage some kind of fossil fuel thing.

Edit: Also hi feds :)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

It would probably be beating an animal abuser to death.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Something piracy related... I'm an avid movie/tv pirate and get family members onto IPTV and my Plex server. I stick to my limits of family members only though and don't make any money from it

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Probably for being horny on main

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

I'd go full fight Club and wipe everyone's debt

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

The RIAA finally catches up to me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Wrongfully accused and convicted after being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Such as being found in the murder victim's apartment, mere moments after their murder.

"I swear! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

More The Fugitive/The Mask.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Seditious thoughts. Unless Op means in breach of current laws.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You are not alone

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Premarital sex in the state of Utah prior to 2018.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Same. Might as well go for broke.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably a random obscure law l accidentally violate at some point like picking up an eagle feather or something.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"What do you mean scrambled eagle eggs are illegal?"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

"I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Removing the tag from the couch.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

What a monster! You should be crucified, beheaded, fined and thrown to jail for the rest of your life! (in that order, of course)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eat the rich (am vegetarian)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

EAT THE RICH (they're keto!)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Beating up someone because they decided the middle of the aisle of my local supermarket was a great place to park their trolley to talk to some other bastard about bullshit nobody cares about while I’m trying to get my shopping over with as fast as possible.

Good thing I get most of my groceries delivered theses days.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yikes. I routinely absent mindedly leave my shopping cart in people's way. It's not intentional, I just always seem to forget about it when I'm looking for something.

I guess I deserve my fate.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It’s not the leaving trolleys on people’s ways that drives me insane. It’s two people chatting about bullshit in the aisle of the supermarket while blocking the path that has me seeing red.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
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