Risa

When I was smoking weed, taking acid, and eating shrooms, I was insanely creative. I wrote songs constantly.

Unfortunately, my interest in drugs was bigger than me. I didn’t “try” opiates. I made my life about opiates in an instant.

I was a dumb kid who idolized musicians that I admired. I wanted to find what gave them their creative edge and I followed them into hell and came out with nothing to show for it.

The first time I got clean, I stayed that way for months. One day I smoked some weed and it reawakened the monster. It wouldn’t do that today, but I hadn’t yet healed from what led me to use drugs like I did in the first place.

After I finally got sober, I realized that I couldn’t write songs any more. I’d try, but I wasn’t ever satisfied with what I made. It was like drugs, particularly psychedelics, awakened something in me that allowed me to truly feel what I was working on and take the right steps to build something. I doubt I’m any less capable today, it’s just that ideas don’t make it past the drawing board because I can’t get the connection to them that I had before.

That being said, I’d rather live a sober life than go back to the constant chaos that I lived in to get high.

If I hadn’t done opiates and just stuck with psychedelics there’s no telling what I would have accomplished.