These two words are typically used interchangeably. So, curious to hear how/if you differentiate them. Also, just a general thread about kinks you have, why you think you have them and if you'd consider yourself "kinky".

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[–] 62 points 6 days ago (6 children)

A kink is something you like. A fetish is something you need to get off. While they're often used interchangeably, they really are two different concepts altogether.

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  • [–] 45 points 6 days ago (9 children)

    A kink is what you get in a cable when you’re not careful pulling it. They’re also called assholes because the shape of the kink can look like a puckered asshole.

    A fetish is a figure carved from wood, stone, or fossils, often used ceremonially.

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  • [–] 8 points 6 days ago (7 children)

    look like a puckered asshole

    I'm not asshole-ologist, but I can't see the similarities there.

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  • [–] 4 points 6 days ago (3 children)

    As a fully licensed and accredited asshole-ologist I agree.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago (2 children)

    Hey doc, you ever going to finish this exam? I've been waiting around for a hour with my pants at my ankles.

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  • [–] 3 points 6 days ago (1 child)

    I just pulled a random photo from online, but if you get a full twist in it yeah. I don’t have any cable on me this weekend else I’d take a pic for you

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  • [–] 35 points 6 days ago

    A kink is adding some spice to your food.

    A fetish is pouring pickle juice on your breakfast cereal. Nobody else gets it, but you love it.

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  • [–] 12 points 6 days ago

    Terry Pratchett put it best.

    Kink is adding some horseraddish to your beef sandwich. Fetish is adding so much you don't even notice the beef has fallen out.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 days ago

    A fetish is something you NEED in order to get off or enjoy sex. So a guy who can't get it up unless the lady is wearing lingerie (or unless he is) that's a lingerie fetish.

    If you enjoy sex more with lingerie but can still enjoy without it, that's a lingerie kink.

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  • [–] 5 points 6 days ago

    kink to me implies something you like but you don't necessarily have to be doing it the majority of the time and don't necessarily spend money on it and such. fetish implies your closer to a lifestyle thing where its the way you want to do things and you will put resources toward it.

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  • [–] 3 points 6 days ago (4 children)

    A kink is just something you like. A fetish is something you obsess over (to an unhealthy degree). The first thing the word fetish makes me think of is chasers, who fetishize certain people and view them as sexual objects (which is obvs very bad).

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago* (2 children)

    I dunno, as a chubby disabled guy with very low body positivity about myself, if someone wants to shower me with desire and positivity, and they get their freak on while doing it, I'd be down to give it a shot. And I'm a switch/service top so being objectified doesn't seem to be a bad thing...

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago (1 child)

    I'm trans so the first thing I think of is trans chasers. They have a reputation for being violent, like after post-nut clarity hits, or they find out the woman they're chasing is post-op or wants surgery. Their objectification and sexualization is nonconsensual and I doubt you'd get aftercare from them either.

    If you have a kink of being objectified, find someone who actually cares about you as a person and is willing to do so consensually. Do you really want to be treated like a blow up doll 24/7/365? (I just finished watching a playthrough of the new hellraiser game, even though it's just a game, I'm now thinking there genuinely are people who'd love that.)

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago

    Oof, that's unfortunate x_x I don't understand why someone would want to get physical with a potential partner without knowing details like that, or having some kind of internal struggle with themselves that masks the symptoms. I'm cis + gay but I guess I can benefit from being shy/timid and demi, as I haven't had such an experience.

    For those that I catch feelings for though, I don't mind a needy partner to 'use' me, often. Ofc I want typical relationship things too (I get super clingy and attached, and I need validation often because of the whole disabled + self-image situation), but having dated a couple really needy guys, it doesn't bother me. Although there's not many kinks that I'm not into, so things never really get typical or boring, so that helps keep things exciting.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 days ago (1 child)

    I use them interchangeably when talking about sex. Very rarely do I use "fetish" for the other usage (an object of spiritual significance).

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  • [–] 1 point 5 days ago

    Don't know about kink, but Fetish is a South African rock band.

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  • [–] 1 point 6 days ago

    A Kink is one of those English guys who sang "You Really Got Me."

    "Fetish" is a 2020 song by Selena Gomez featuring Gucci Mane.

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  • [–] 1 point 6 days ago

    a kink is like a coffeine, but ritual instead of chemical. something that gives you a kick.

    a fetish is, idk, maybe sth to do with fashion?

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