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[–] 77 points 2 days ago (4 children)

The roadrunner runs up and into the house in the painting, but the coyote still cannot follow

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  • [–] 32 points 2 days ago (3 children)

    And you may ask yourself,
    Is this my beautiful coyote wife?

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  • [–] 15 points 2 days ago* (1 child)

    But the Roadrunner.

    The Roadrunner walks into this house.

    The Coyote Wife kisses the Roadrunner.

    The children call him daddy.

    Coyote washes the door away. The window. The yard. He whimpers to himself (on a picket sign) "What have I done?!"

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  • [–] 25 points 2 days ago (1 child)
  • [–] 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

    The coyote is a lost soul, forever damned to a meaningless chase in a landscape of indifference.

    He stands before a rock wall where he has painted a vision of paradise at the end of a tunnel. He reaches out, but his paw strikes only the harsh, unyielding rock of reality.

    Moments ago, the Road Runner appeared and, with a casual, indifferent grace, sprinted into the painting. The bird vanished into a dream that the coyote is forbidden from entering. Meep... meep...

    Then comes a package from ACME. Inside the box lies a single pistol. The coyote lifts the weapon, spins the chamber, and raises it to his temple with a pained sigh of relief.

    Tears flow down his face like waterfalls of sorrow. He stands now at the veil of this world. No more failures. This is how the coyote wins: he simply refuses to play this cruel, twisted game.

    He pulls the trigger. Nothing.

    The coyote opens one eye to find a tiny, mocking flag that reads "BANG!" He remains paralyzed by the absurdity of his own existence, knowing that in this vast, echoing wasteland, the only thing more certain than hunger is the cruelty of the joke.

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  • [–] 21 points 2 days ago

    Then the Roadrunner goes meep meep, runs right into his beautiful two-bedroom house and fucks his beautiful coyote wife.

    And we begin to understand why he so deeply wants to kill that bird.

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  • [–] 14 points 2 days ago

    ...and then a studio creates a story about this, hires a full group of whole ass people to make it, and writes it off for taxes so they can pay a bunch of "important" "people" for easy money without the pesky need of anyone watching it.

    ... surprise!

    Another studio has suddenly appeared and wants to release it!

    Lucky you, it was good!

    ...but wait, there's a sequel...

    ...tune in next time to see if they can pre-cancel the sequel!!!!

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  • [–] 10 points 2 days ago
    [–] 4 points 2 days ago

    Ennui Pathos.

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