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[–] 131 points 5 days ago (4 children)

I'd say twenty-three miller lites are the bare minimum needed to make baseball enjoyable.

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  • [–] 86 points 5 days ago* (2 children)

    What do you need to pre-game to make the Miller Lites enjoyable?

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  • [–] 27 points 5 days ago (3 children)

    Baseball is the socially acceptable background noise for sitting in public and drinking beer, tbf

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  • [–] 15 points 5 days ago (3 children)

    Ballpark dogs also help.


    Unnecessary tangent: the main thing that makes them so good* is that they wrap them in foil before handing them to you, letting the bun heat up and steam a bit. You could microwave a cheap bun for a few seconds at home and get the same experience while saving several dollars. Or grill/toast it for one that blows ballpark dogs out of the water.

    * Besides cooking them well enough, which most people don't do because the perfect hot dog takes multiple times longer than the instructions say. Simply heating them through isn't enough - blistered is better!

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  • [–] 10 points 5 days ago (2 children)

    Air fryer has totally changed my hotdog game, shit's unreal

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  • [–] 12 points 5 days ago* (1 child)

    You can also (lightly) score them down their length before cooking for more surface area (the cuts will pop open during cooking) and a firmer texture. Even one line makes a huge difference in how they come out.

    It's basically the same thing as that spiral cut technique that was going around a while back, but doesn't need a skewer and requires a hundredth the effort.

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  • [–] 10 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    Yet nothing makes miller light enjoyable. Monkey piss.

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  • [–] 55 points 4 days ago

    $300 for water?!?!

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  • [–] 64 points 5 days ago (1 child)
  • [–] 34 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    46 comments and nobody's suggested that's how many Miller Lights you need to get a buzz?

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  • [–] 21 points 4 days ago (3 children)

    Miller lite is 12 fl oz, 4.2% ABV. A baseball game is typically 2.5 hours long. Assuming a 200 lbs man, and using the calculator.net BAC calculator, drinking 3-5 beers over the course of the game will leave him in the "buzz" range between 0.02% and 0.06% BAC at the end of the game.

    Consuming 23 beers over the course of the game will result in a 0.38% BAC, which calculator.net helpfully describes with:

    "Stupor, central nervous system depression, loss of understanding, lapses in and out of consciousness, low possibility of death"

    In metric:

    Miller lite is 0.355 liters, 4.2% ABV. A batball game is typically 9 kiloseconds long. Assuming a 90.71847 kg man, and using the calculator.net BAC calculator, drinking 0.3-0.5 decabeers over the course of the game will leave him in the "buzz" range between 0.02 metric% and 0.06 metric% BAC at the end of the game.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 days ago (4 children)

    Your calculations are off. Most ballparks stop selling beer in the 8th inning.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 days ago*

    In metric:

    Whew, thank you, this was getting so confusing until that point.

    Also,

    “Stupor, central nervous system depression, loss of understanding, lapses in and out of consciousness, low possibility of death”

    Those appear to be desirable for a significant subset of US people nowadays from what I see online.

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  • [–] 39 points 5 days ago

    Who could sit through a baseball game without 23 beers?

    Better make them Lite, though, I'm on a diet.

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  • [–] 25 points 5 days ago (6 children)

    Okay, but unless these are gourmet nachos, gourmet hot dogs, and gourmet mountain dew, this is still gouging before the Miller Lites.

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  • [–] 17 points 5 days ago* (3 children)

    I highly doubt it. It's probably like $5 for a single 12oz can. The kind you could buy a 6 pack of for the same price.

    In that same breath, $13 beers are just insane. There's no logistical cost or reason for them being that expensive other than they have you restricted as a captive audience. It doesn't cost them nearly that much, but you'll pay it, because otherwise it's nothing. And baseball without beer should just be classified as a genevia level form of torture.

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  • [–] 4 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    One of my oldest schemes was to make a sort of like russian hat, those high fur ones, and sneak a six pack in there, hooked up to tubes, where you can sneak the tube down to your mouth and drink. For football more where the temperature is colder.

    But it could be done with any sort of diaphram. I think military guys carry like a bladder of water, something like that on the belly with loose clothing made to look like you were overweight would work, at least for us skinny people.

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  • [–] 8 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    Yes that’s stadium pricing. Pay $10-$15 for a hot dog that makes the Costco $1.50 hot dog look gourmet.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 days ago*

    The Costco $1.50 hot dog is gourmet!

    Or at least it was, until they stopped giving out sauerkraut and brown mustard <grumble, grumble>

    But seriously though, Costco hot dogs are objectively excellent, regardless of price.

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    [–] 13 points 4 days ago

    Maybe his kids shouldn't drink so much beer.

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  • [–] 15 points 5 days ago* (1 child)

    HA-HA, "he buy too many beer."

    Ok but there's NO FUCKING WAY a $3 trash beer should be $13, and they give you those small ass Dixie Cups.

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  • [–] 14 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    The only reason that anybody should ever have 23 beers at a baseball game, is if it's .10 cent beer night.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 days ago
    [–] 8 points 5 days ago

    Someone needs to learn about "pre-gaming". I'm a baller on a budget.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 days ago (1 child)

    I mean 50+ dollars for hot dogs nachos and some sodas is still highway robbery.

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  • [–] 6 points 5 days ago (2 children)

    What an odd thing to post on a LinkedIn profile

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    [–] 2 points 4 days ago

    IASIP taught kids how to pregame with antifreeze (don't do it, joke) and huffing glue. Gen X boomers who already have a house, and avocado toast lifestyle can learn finance tips too.

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  • [–] 5 points 5 days ago

    Try this one trick to save on your drinking bill!

    spoiler

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  • [–] 4 points 5 days ago (1 child)

    That could easily be 6-8 adults and 2 kids (we told them not to bring the kids, but they never listen).

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    [–] 4 points 5 days ago (3 children)

    Four Mountain Dews is not healthy

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