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[–] 97 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I often think about Mark Hamill when he's chastised by interviewers for giving his vintage first edition Star Wars figures to his children: "They're toys, they're meant to be played with!"

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  • [–] 48 points 2 months ago* (5 children)

    Preach.

    My girlfriend does this (or at least used to do this) all the time.

    • When she was young, she was gifted a bunch of hand-embroidered clothes of the very traditional 'old country' style. At the time, she literally thought she wasn't good enough to wear them (she's a bit of a tomboy) and saved them away for later. By the time she finally found them again, safely packed away decades later, her style had evolved and she didn't even like that old-fashioned stuff anymore, and she had to just get rid of it because she knew she'd never even want to wear it.

    • Some time ago when she was poor and MP3 players were fairly expensive, she'd been using a really old gnarly and busted one every day. For her birthday, her brother got her a fancy new one with a lot more storage and a screen, really the latest and greatest. But she was afraid of losing it or breaking it, so she never took it anywhere and never used it. She kept using the old one. The new one sat on a shelf, safe in its original factory box for years and years. Nowadays, it's completely obsolete and pointless because she can just play music from her phone. She never even loaded any music on it.

    Sometimes (even often, maybe?) saving nice things for later just ends in the tragedy of those nice things never being enjoyed at all. She would have been better off if she wore and ultimately wore out and ruined those fancy clothes. She would have been better off if she'd used the fancy MP3 player for a while and it did get lost or broken. Sometimes, keeping precious things safe is the worst thing that can happen to those things. It's like not having them at all -- worse than not having them at all, because now you also need to dedicate storage space to them.

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    [–] 36 points 2 months ago (14 children)

    Sucks about getting old and dying. All the things you found interesting and brought you joy are often meaningless to your kids or the next generation. I don’t mean hoarding stupid “collectibles”, but things like maybe the photography you got good at, the nice piece of local art you picked up while traveling, etc.

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  • [–] 29 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    I think that those things are only meaningless because the parents/grandparents didn’t or couldn’t engage with the next generation about it. Heirlooms, trinkets, and tchotchkes have to be imbued with stories and sentiment otherwise they’re just junk.

    20th century hyper-consumerism sold the idea that you could buy sentimentality and proceeded to replace things that were valuable because of their unique stories with things that were valuable because of “the collectible market.” There’s a big difference between “this Coke sign was in your great-great-grandpa’s soda fountain” and “this Coke sign is valued at $100.” Likewise, a box of old family photos fails to have value when you can’t identify the people in the photos and the relative you inherited them from didn’t bother taking the time.

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  • [–] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 child)

    My ex’s parents almost donated a little crystal bowl thing. If they did, someone at the thrift shop would have found a nice little crystal bowl thing.

    The reality? Her mom’s family was living in Europe because her grandfather’s job and while they were there they met some people who escaped the USSR. Long story short, since they were allowed, her family ended up crossing into the USSR with a bundle of photos and letters to give to the family of the people they had met. The family still behind the iron curtain was so grateful they gave them the crystal bowl. That bowl would have been very valuable to them, but the information about their family in France was worth so much more.

    I took the bowl instead. Its little story, and that family’s gratitude, is not forgotten and now it holds some candy on my bookshelf.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    Moving my mom into a home next month and dealing with the lifetime of Meaningful Things she has piled up everywhere.

    Meanwhile I live in a studio apartment and whenever I clean, if I haven't looked at it or used it in a year I give it away/throw it out.

    When I die only my writing will be left, and that will probably fade from cultural memory more quickly than I'd like.

    There's probably a happy medium to be found somewhere. Maybe I'll start carving my name on trees or deface priceless artwork.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    We go to a lot of estate sales and its really wild sometimes just like, being in the homes of often dead people, just sort of, seeing their stuff and their life.

    Plus as you said, all the stuff that was probably very enjoyed by those people just sort of, scavenged, but also how much is basically ignored and discarded. Sometimes it makes me a little sad.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I went to an estate sale of a professor. The garage was full of nice shelving full of perfectly organized binder boxes containing dissertations. I assume from every grad student he taught over his career. This took up most of his garage.

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    [–] 31 points 2 months ago

    Took me a while but I got there. I have fabric that my great-grandmother grew as flax, spun, dyed and wove on her loom, over 100 years old now. I'm using these pieces as wall hangings and sofa covers and even on my market stall - it's a simple and pragmatic ancestor practice and in a sense I uncurse her life by carrying these pieces as I walk through my life way more undisturbed, unafraid and freely than she could.

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  • [–] 29 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Maybe Check the China before you use it, my wife inherited China from her parents. It's extremely high lead content means it gets displayed, not used.

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  • [–] 31 points 2 months ago* (2 children)

    my wife inherited China from her parents

    I'm assuming china rather than China, unless she's the new empress and this is the most incredible humble brag!

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    [–] 25 points 2 months ago

    While I completely agree with this sentiment. On the flipside, I've seen it in people who grew up poor that they really want to save things and preserve them for longer use even if it causes temporary inconvenience. I think it might be hard to get out of this mindset

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  • [–] 22 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    My ex had brought me whiskey coffee from her trip to Scotland. I decided to save it for a special occasion, and then it expired and I had to throw it. Never again.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    Did it actually expire, or was it just past the date? Plenty things have expiration dates but are still just fine to use for months afterward

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  • [–] 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Is coffee from Texas somehow special? Or just part of the joking...

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  • [–] 9 points 2 months ago

    If it’s fresh from a specialty roaster, most of its volatile aromatics are gone about 6 weeks after their roast date, which is what makes expensive coffee so interesting. Coffee stales really really quickly but has an incredibly long shelf life, so while it’s perfectly safe to drink coffee that’s been around for a long time (James Hoffmann famously drank coffee that was roasted over 80 years ago) you’re not going to be able to enjoy it as much anymore. So absolutely don’t slowly ration it out, wait maybe 5-7 days after roast for some CO2 to escape but then make sure you drink it all within the 1-6 week window or you’ll lose what makes it expensive and fancy and it’ll just start to taste like normal cheap coffee. Unless you don’t care that much about coffee, in which case just drink it whenever, it’s not going to go bad on you.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    Coffee from Texas is... special?

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Trump is taxing Europe because we wouldn't buy coffee from Texas, so maybe it is.

    It comes from the poop of cows or something, I think.

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    [–] 10 points 2 months ago

    Reminds me Uncle Iroh. "Sharing tea with a fascinating stranger is one of life's true delights."

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    I have a shitload of stickers that I need to finally stick somewhere.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    This holds true in the kitchen too. Don't let your good olive oil go rancid while you wait for the right time to use it

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  • [–] 8 points 1 month ago

    I never drank the sake I was given for my 30th because I was saving it for a special day. We sure as shit drank all the champagne my missus got for graduating.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    That's great wisdom. We shouldn't keep stuff in a jar out of respect, or out of some fear that the memory it carries dissipates. Everything decays. Using that stuff is the best mark of respect and remembrance you can pay to whomever left you it. I'm writing this message to myself

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago (8 children)

    I disagree. Good things become dull things if you have them constantly.

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    [–] 4 points 2 months ago (4 children)

    What’s does living in the water and on land have to do with how you feel about your possessions?

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  • [–] 4 points 2 months ago

    Fun fact: there's marginalia collectors, people who collect pieces of media which contain handwritten scribbles and notes on them

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