I used to think the KISS song went I wanna rock and roll all night... and part of every day.

It's far less hard core that way.

My roommate used to think Jimi Hendrix sang "excuse me while I kiss this guy" until I explained it was "sky".

Although in his defense years later I heard a live version where I'm pretty sure he changes it for a verse or two to "kiss this guy."

Dirty deeds and the THUNDER CHIEF

Probs a common one but when ever Blinded By The Light came on I only heard "woke up like a douche" instead of "revved up like a deuce"

When I was about 10, instead of “smoke two joints”, I thought it was “spoke to Joyce”.

I spoke Joyce in the morning
I spoke to Joyce at night
I spoke to Joyce in the afternoon
it makes me feel alright

I spoke to Joyce in time of peace
and too in time of war
I spoke to Joyce 
before I spoke to Joyce 
and then I spoke some more

I spoke to Joyce when I get up
In the car I spoke to Joyce
I spoke to Joyce 
when I play videogames
and at every 10,000 points 
I spoke to Joyce!

My mom laughed for 5 full minutes when I told her.

Chop Suey:

Why'd you leave the kids upon the table?

I still sing it like that for the absurdism.

I always heard "I see a brand new horizon" instead of "I see a bad moon rising". I feel like my version is waaay more optimistic!

For us Dutch it is a mondegreen to hear "fok die kerstman" instead of "rock the casbah".

In the song Brown Eyed Girl:

Whatever happened

to Tuesday and so slow

Gun down the old man with a

transistor radio

I was picturing someone holding out a radio in front of them, brandishing it at the old man like how you'd wave a cross at a vampire. The old man doesn't like that newfangled rock and roll music, so they're shooting the sound waves at him to scare him off.

(It's "going down the old mine with a transistor radio," but whatever.)

My fave when this subject comes up: “last night I dreamt of some bagels” as the opening line to La Isla Bonita by Madonna

The Decemberists have a rock opera called Hazards of Love and in one song, Annan Water, the main character is trying to strike a bargain with a river to allow him passage across it. It includes the line:

Though my mother cries that if I try I sure will drowned be

For the longest time, I would have sworn the lyric was:

Though my mother cries that if I try I sure will drown in pee

Have a listen and tell me you don't hear that, too.

HAMSTER

My wife was singing "Hello darkness, smile friend" until she met me. When I heard it I was like, "can you sing that back for me one more time?"

I don't know how long we laughed but it was equally funny the next day when we remembered it again.

When the song was new, my dad heard I’m Your Venus played over the school cafeteria speakers, but everyone else knew the song so they didn’t react to it. He went years never understanding the meaning of that song.

Hahaha I always mishear "Rock the Casbah" as "F*ck the Casbah!" Which seems more rebellious and more in line with the spirit of the song.

Edit: It took 5 hours apparently but i remembered some other examples

• Steal Away by Robbie Dupree sounds like he's going "nigga toniiiiiiight" when he is actually saying "Make it toniiiiiiight." You'll think I'm being crude and childish but it really does sound more like the former every single time i listen, and i'm sure this is a universal thing. It is really funny that this happens at the climax of the song. "nigga" usually indicates a man rather than a woman, so it also makes the song "suddenly gay"
• I'm every woman, Chaka Khan = "climb every woman" (i picture an energetic housecat singing this)

My daughter when she was young: "All the other kids better run, better run, faster than my brother."

Misheard lyrics, also called 'mondegreens'.

I have a friend who thought Sinead O'Connor must've been a mechanic.

Every time she heard the song"Mandinka" she would sing along with it.

And I do love, mending cars

Dirty deeds done with sheeps. They're dirty deeds and they're done with sheeps.

I'm not sure this song ever made it out of Canada, but Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm by Crash Test Dummies has a verse where a girl in school wouldn't change with the other girls, and when they made her, she had, in what I thought the lyric was, "burn marks all over her body". I assumed the song was about child abuse, and they were cigarette burns. The other verses are about a kid with a shock of white hair from "a car crash" and a kid who always has to come home right after school, so it kinda made sense in a consistent enough way...

Anyway, for basically my whole life I thought that's what the song was about. Turns out the lyrics are "birth marks all over her body", and the point of the song is more about kids being othered for things outside their control.

I still think I prefer my version...

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get rid of my friends

Apparently when I was 3, the song, "If you're gonna play in Texas," by Alabama, came out.

I heard, "If you're gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a parallelogram."

My contribution here is to let those who did not know (like me until recently) that the misheard version of lyrics (or phrase) causing them to have a new meaning is called “Mondegreen"

In the song "Coming Undone" by Korn I thought the line was "i fight my demons with my friends" which is kinda wholesome but its actually "I thought my demons were my friends" which is much sadder :(

Not really misheard lyrics, but more like ignored lyrics... I completely glossed over the middle verse of Object by Ween when it came out and thought it was about a guy who lost his lover and the search party only found her sweater.

It's about a serial killer. The middle verse talks about wearing her skin like a body suit. 🤣

Ella Langley : Choosing Texas

"she's from texas I can tell by the way he's goose-stepping round the room"

Say it Ain't So by Weezer

Instead of "Wrestle with Jimmy" I always hear "rustlin jimmies"

My life has been extraordinary Blessed and cursed at once

It's "blessed and cursed and won". Totally ruined one of my favorite lyrics ever when I figured that out.

You can tell by the way I use my wand, Im a woman-man no automaton.

Stayin Alive circa 2001 on my crappy boombox .

Missing by Everything but the girl. I thought she sang 'tiramisu, like the dessert mystery'.