School has started and my teen refuses to use an alarm, leaving me to do the wakeup myself. As thr door is locked, I cannot gently awaken them. So, I decided music was great and chose the following 3 songs (played in this order and the reaction):

  • Viva La Vida - Coldplay
  • [quiet groans from inside, no movement]
  • Baby Shark
  • [whimpers and the sound of pillows shuffling]
  • Welcome to the Jungle - Guns & Roses
  • [door flew open, I was forced to flee]

So three songs seems to be the sweet spot. I'd like to keep it fresh and change daily so they can't adapt. Please give me your 3-song playlist so I can continue to psychologically torture wake my child for school every day.

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[–] 73 points 1 month ago (1 child)

WAKE UP

^wake^ ^up^

Grab a bush and put a little makeup

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  • [–] 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    What's New Pussycat 7 times, followed by It's Not Unusual, then more of the first.

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    [–] 32 points 1 month ago

    Nyan cat 24 hour loop

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  • [–] 21 points 1 month ago (1 child)
  • [–] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Ballroom Blitz - Sweet

    Mr Blue Sky - ELO

    X Gon Give It to Ya - DMX

    Turn Down for What - Like Jihn

    Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj

    Everybody - Backstreet Boys

    Wannabe - Spice Girls

    Cha Cha Cha - Kaarija

    Paloma Rumba - Simon

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  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Pick three three of their favorite songs and start singing terribly. I’m talking off-key, purposely wrong lyrics. As loud as you can.

    Even better if you can improv the lyrics to customize it just for them.

    If they wish to preserve the sanctity of their media they’ll wake up sooner rather than later.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago

    Pick three three of their favorite songs and start singing terribly

    no. just their favorite songs in general.

    I once had the briht idea of using my favorite songs as my alarm sound.

    It just lead to me absolutely hating the songs, because my brain associated them with waking up

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    [–] 13 points 1 month ago* (2 children)
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    [–] 13 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    Wham! — Wake Me Up

    TMBG — Wake Up Call

    Bullfrog ft. Kid Koala — Music for More Morning People

    (I used to use Hokus Pick's "I'm So Happy" but it just hits different under the current presidential administration)

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  • [–] 13 points 1 month ago

    My grandmother would regularly play mariachi music at way too early hours of Saturday as she was cleaning because she liked it. I learned to wake up before the crack of dawn on those days so I could be out of the house in time to avoid it.

    Anyways, spice it up with things like yodelling, bagpipes, any cultural music with extremely high pitched instruments or vocals, and particularly emotional songs from popular musicals. And maybe throw in a soundtrack of metal pots falling down the stairs or glass crashing in between songs, just to keep them on their toes.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 month ago

    I had a roommate who would play "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads every morning at top volume.

    It starts slow and quiet, then the drums kick in hard, launching you out of bed. By the end of the song we'd be pogo-dancing around the apartment.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago
    [–] 9 points 1 month ago (5 children)

    Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner

    Elephant Talk by King Crimson

    Hocus Pocus by Focus

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    [–] 9 points 1 month ago

    Might I suggest: Who Let the Dogs Out followed by Around the World and lastly The Final Countdown.

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  • [–] 8 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    The trick is to pick something and sing it yourself. Preferably some old traditional song.

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    [–] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)
    1. Cbat - Hudson Hawke

    2. Gangnam Style - Psy

    3. Burning Down the House - Tom Jones/The Cardigans

    Start off confusing them with a cacophony of sound, followed by high energy, into Tom Jones shouting. Should be pretty hard to sleep through all of that

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    [–] 8 points 1 month ago

    All Star - Smash Mouth (Kid's Bop version)

    The Pokérap

    DK Rap

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  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    Stress by Justice, at extremely high volume.

    Shouldn't even need anything else. The stress the song gives should be enough to cause someone to vacate the premises.

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    [–] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

    I think you're going about this the wrong way, You won't have wake them up if they can never fall asleep listening to every song here all night. Tell them you'll only turn it of if they set their own alarm.

    Right now you're training them that the obnoxious music will be their alarm.

    Also, if your kid has an android I love the alarm app called AMDroid. It is super customizable, (who knew an alarm could have so many options). It can set to do things like send a notification after a few minutes "are you awake?", if you don't respond the alarm goes again. You can set various math or word challenges to stop the alarm, you can make it only turn of if you're close enough to the router, or at a certain light level, and so on.

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    [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    The main theme from the Lion King

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  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago (1 child)
    • The 1812 overture. If that's too long, just focus on the section with the cannons.

    • Crazy frog

    • The macarena (I was struggling to think of a third song, but I would hope the first two would do the job)

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    [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    There's a YouTube channel called " The Guy Who Sings Your Name Over and Over "

    See if he has a song with your kid's name.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    Marc rebillet good morning wake up

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  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago

    make your own song entirely out of gen alpha memes and slang that you don't even understand and make it as wrong as possible

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  • [–] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)
    [–] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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    [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    Firestarter by The Prodigy

    Wipe Out by The Surfaris

    Mars from Holst's Planet's Suite

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    When I struggled to get up in my late teens and early twenties, I used a submarine dive horn as an alarm. That worked well, but my roommates were not a fan.

    Edit: This is a fun post and I kinda ignored the game, my bad!

    I use Fleet Foxes' Sun Giant as an alarm, the deep inhale in the beginning gets me up instantly then the soft music is comforting as I stir awake. But might not be as useful for a teen who can't wake up.

    Streetlight Manifesto's Everything Went Numb starts with horns and quickly gets upbeat and fast, great track that seems hard to sleep through.

    Moxy Fruvus' King of Spain has a good mix of upbeat, percussive vocals and a slightly embarassing Weird Al/comedy acapella vibes that might make it insufferable to sleep through.

    I could easily see Blue Swede's Hooked on a Feeling becoming a dreaded familiar wake up call. Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka Ooga Ooga Ooga Chaka...

    Maybe set up a subwoofer under their bed and hit em with something like Aquagen's Ihr Seid so Leise.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago

    AC/DC — “Thunderstruck” or “For Those About to Rock”

    And—please don’t hate me for this, everybody—that horrible Kars for Kids jingle. Play it on something he has to physically get out of bed to shut off.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago*
    [–] 5 points 1 month ago
    • MELT-BANANA - The Hive
    • Anna Meredith - Nautilus
    • Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy

    If they're not enough for your child to choose an alarm instead, I don't know what is.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago* (2 children)

    Meshuggah - bleed, Marc rebillet morning alarm , Miley Cyrus - party in the USA

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    [–] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago
    [–] 4 points 1 month ago

    When I went to band camp, they'd wake us up by setting up giant speakers in the dorm halls and playing Eye of the Tiger or Convoy

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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago*

    It's opinionated, but anyway here's my list lol

    Toots & the Maytals - Broadway Jungle then The Toasters - I'm Running Right Through The World and finally Reel Big Fish - She Has a Girlfriend Now

    Your teenager will feel like new

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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago*

    Aphex Twin - Rhubarb (#3 on Selected Ambient Works Volume II)

    Tycho - Awake

    Ray Parker Jr - Ghostbusters

    Gentle come-up, gentle rhythm introduction, followed by unresistable urge to dance

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  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    The Humpty Dance - Digital Underground

    Twist - Korn

    Everybody (Backstreet's Back) - The Backstreet Boys

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