I'm autistic and this would really simplify things tbh

The inigo montoya style:

Step 1: Give a polite greeting.

Step 2: State your name.

Step 3: Establish a personal connection.

Step 4: Manage expectations of the relationship.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

That's basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.

"I'm Chilie. I'm a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?"

This would be amazing.

Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.

The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.

Know what? Next time I ask a woman out...

"Hi I'm [Redacted], I'm [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You're really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?"

(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it's actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)

Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let's fuck.

My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.

I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.

All I can say is it works.

Don't threaten me with a good time.

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.

This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?

Picture it: "hi I'm Hedgehog what's your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus"

Unfortunately now I'm an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.

Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!

No, you’re bald, Katie and my dad can beat up your dad.

I.. would love this idea.

That's ideally what people would put in their dating profile.

Uhhhh you can? This is basically what I do. The key is to just not give a shit and accept that not everyone is gonna respond.

So... like autistics do (and wish others did)?

Ive basically done this with one or two discord friends. Met them through mutual friends though so there was some level of "trust tbat we're the same kind of weirdo" already there

Not sure about this. It gets dangerously close to "Now for an ice breaker, why don't we go around the room and tell each other a little not about ourselves."

Just add "but I like that" at the end with a wink and you're running baby