this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Cows kill more people every year than sharks do

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

And that's only because we come more often and much closer to cows than we come to sharks.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Its also because big ass herbivores are actually really dangerous.

Sharks don't actually like the taste of humans because we're a little too lean. So they won't actively hunt you unless they're starving. There's only really one reason why a shark is out to get you. There's many reasons a herbivore will mess you up.

A big herbivore will fk you up because he's having a bad day and you got too close. Or its mating season and everyone is potential competition. Or they mistook you for a predator cause of their poor eyesight. Or a bird flew away nearby and one of them got startled and now you're in a path of a stampede.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Sharks may also bite you by accident, because they mistake you for a seal.

How dangerous a bull is also depends on his age. While getting older he will start to lose the fear/respect for humans. This will get to a point where being alone with him is a literal death sentence.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Speak for yourself, I haven't spent any time coming anywhere near a cow

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That was not what I meant.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

OMG I didn't even notice your username until just now!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Your username should have been cows_are_udderated

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago
[–] Octopus1348 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There was a 82 year old man who had to pee and couldn't hold it in, so he went to a train track to do it. While he was pissing, a cow from the air crushed him. His death certificate literally says "Death by a flying cow". It turned out that cows were crossing a track and the train hit one of the cows full speed, so it was sent flying right towards the man. He ended up passing away.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Achievement unlocked: Get killed by a flying cow.

[–] Octopus1348 4 points 11 months ago

I saw a comment that read "Bro got the rarest death message 💀"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Even tho cows are cool as hell, don't mess with them if you don't know them. Especially bulls can easily kill you(and they will do).

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

I literally walked into my grandparents' garden one day and found a cow just hanging out. No one believed me when I went to tell them until they heard it moo. Turns out it had managed to break the fence at a local field and was just roaming.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Can't be mad at her, considering all the beef people eat

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's true. I was nearly killed by a cow. Turned my car into a convertible and missed my head by millimetres.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

So you met a cow and got a new car and a haircut for your troubles. Not bad at all!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Be glad she wasn't a moose.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

This looks like my old student accommodation

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Made my brain autofill the rest of the image with the cow standing on two legs and having human arms.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

just wants to use your phone bro

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Cows are angry little vengeance creatures.

They know, and they want retribution.