this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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politics

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[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Can you tell them apart?

Yes I can. Without reading the article. Ned Flanders is a good, kind, generous person despite his weird religious beliefs. Mike Johnson is none of those things.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"My wife spent the last few weeks on her knees in prayer to the lord, and, uh, she's a little worn out."

-Actually Mike Johnson, somehow.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

odds on it wasn't praying that wore her out?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

99% chance it was praying. Fundies are weird about sex for pleasure and anything that isn't missionary.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Outwardly. Behind closed doors they are some of the most fucked up people that exist.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Okay, I cannot help but think that 'the lord' is their name for his dick.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It's like Joel Dongsteen

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The only one I got wrong.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago

This was pretty easy because Ned is not an asshole.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (5 children)

“[My wife] spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.”

Only one I missed.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Maude Flanders had amazing endurance for praying to the lord. You insult her memory by insinuating that she would get tired.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You insult her memory

Maude passed?! What happened?! Damn. This is terrible news.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Me too. Stupid sexy flanders.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Less time on your back, more time on your knees is the only one I missed! I know my sweet Neddy.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The Ark Encounter is one way to bring people to this recognition of the truth, that what we read in the Bible are actual historical events.

Ah, yes. The ark museum that required modern structural engineering techniques and materials, teams of construction crews and not just a family of eight, and active ventilation to continually remove the toxic levels of methane that wood naturally produces.

Such a factually true account of history.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

If you remove all the ungodly building codes and laws and regulations, you can make a museum that looks like a boat, with bronze aged tools!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

100%. If it seems too innocent or self-aware it's Flanders.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.” and “[My wife] spent the last couple of weeks on her knees in prayer to the Lord. And, um, she’s a little worn out.” I got wrong.

One sounds like a classic Simpsons joke and the other sounds like a condescending asshole.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm sure the "on your back" was a totally different context.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Ned Flanders is a lot more well meaning.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

TIL sexy homosexual "barbarians" ransacked Rome, left no man's purse untouched