380
brains on autopilot (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

I relate to this one, like half of the posts or comments I make are edited because i just always find a way to forget something or make a spelling error lol

top 36 comments
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[-] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 133 points 1 week ago

You can tell it's real by the different font sizes

[-] uin@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

Or it could be stitched together

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago

The iMessage app would still have the same font size throughout scrolling.

[-] fushuan@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 week ago

Crop two pics into not the same size then resize the lower one so it fits the same width. Idk, seems plausible.

[-] lowleveldata@programming.dev 71 points 1 week ago
[-] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago

Super cool comment lowleveldata

[-] AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social 8 points 1 week ago

Super cool comment zloubida

[-] trackball_fetish@lemmy.wtf 59 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I fumbled a threesome like this. I was balls to the wall fucked up on a green dragon tincture, three droppers full. I got a pic from two acquaintances kissing and was like "damn, seems like you both are having fun". Wasn't until later that that someone told me what they were trying to do. Even later on I found out I may or may not be autistic.

[-] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago

I dunno man, I've watched too many movies where a couple of hotties seduce a dude and then it turns into horror. Don't rule out that the acquaintances were just messing with you.

[-] trackball_fetish@lemmy.wtf 9 points 1 week ago

In this situation nah because a woman I started dating briefly around that time told me

Tap for spoilerShe had a threesome with one of the two women in the photo and another guy. Basically, this chick had a kink for dominating other women, watching and encouraging while they got fucked etc.

[-] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 1 week ago

Remember, leave your money and cards at home. Just in case.

[-] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world -1 points 1 week ago

It’s okay man maybe they were trying to entrap you in a rape case

[-] trackball_fetish@lemmy.wtf 5 points 1 week ago
[-] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Hey you never know you may have dodged a bullet. You won’t ever catch me getting entrapped im too smart for the female population

[-] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 4 points 1 week ago

im too smart for the female population

when you say "im too smart for the female population", you're basically just saying that you're never getting laid, right?

[-] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago

Pretty sure that's what they meant and also that it was a joke

[-] TachyonTele_Esq@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

Does that mean I might still have chance with the female population?

[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 33 points 1 week ago

Fellas help me out with that Lemmyrizz, what is the appropriate response if a girl sends you this

[-] D_C@sh.itjust.works 64 points 1 week ago

"I showed this to my mother and she says that you need to eat more. Something about child bearing hips. My dad wants to know who fitted your mirror?
Btw, nice tits"

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 35 points 1 week ago

"Better switch to a messaging app with end-to-end encryption if you want to share pictures like this https://signal.org/install"

[-] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago
[-] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago

Absurd could be taken the wrong way though

[-] brown567@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

"The back of your head is ridiculous!"

[-] Leg@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago

Let your eyeballs pop out of your head, your tongue unfurl onto the floor, your heart beat through your chest and spring back inside, all while either howling, whistling, or going with the classic "YEAH, BABY!"

This has worked for me literally every single time.

[-] papalonian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

I usually drop to my hands and knees, panting with my tongue out and banging a fist on the floor.

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

You say 'hubba hubba'.

[-] too_high_for_this@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Tasteful bulge pic. No shirt, boxer briefs with an obvious half chub.

Unless they have a great sense of humor, then it's the opposite. Donald Ducking with a throbbing erection and a thumbs up.

I also like to do dick cleavage. Pull boxers down so the base of the shaft is showing.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Pro-tip for the final stages: most phones can do slow-mo for any grand moments you'd like to capture.

I don't normally share my secret recipes.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Are you referencing the Donald Duck dick pic from John Oliver's Last Week Tonight that gets brought up with every duck story (last time with the Reflecting Pool)?

Cartoon NSFW

Yes, drakes do have corkscrew penises

Surely that isn't anatomically accurate, is it?

Also, do ducks even have balls?

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

No, it isn't. Ducks usually have smaller eyeballs and no clothes. Their testicles are internal and the featherless penis is pink, thinner and more twisted (but can be as long as the rest of the body).

[-] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago

Bridget?

Bridget?

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago

Yes, the pic is after some reflection but that's not a big issue, it can be flipped digitally

[-] Prathas@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

This feels like the start to the movie Obsession.

[-] nitroemdash@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 week ago

What's the problem?

this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2026
380 points (98.5% liked)

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