Walk directly across the hood.

It's a tough one honestly, because you never know if its someone that's generally a considerate person but had to park for an emergency.. Or if it's just a general asshole on a standard day.

Judging by the car make and model though (all black Tesla), I'd lean towards the latter.

Mild annoyance and then continue with my day. If I'm really annoyed report it to whoever issues the parking fines in the area.

Nothing, officer. I didn't see who keyed the car.

I exhale sharply through my nose, go around and forget about it 15 seconds later.

I called parking enforcement on this one. Right in front of the job site drive. We don't come here everyday, but when we do, it'd be nice to be able to pull in. They called me when they got to the car and asked if I wanted it toed. I said that they do it all the time but just give a warning, because it's the first time I've called. Next time, it's gone.

My reaction would be How did i get to another country?

I mumble “what an asshole” and move on with my life

Walk over it. Even if it's filmed, they are in a crosswalk what would come of that? Get some friends to do the same. If they don't want their car walked on, don't park on the crosswalk.

Change into my "blind guy" costume and beat the car with my stick until someone stops me.

I'm British so I'm going to tut loudly and mutter something under my breath

“Hope they get a ticket”

Ah, Balkans, huh?

Edit: Looks like Portugal plates. They're honorary Balkans.

"Oh thank god! I'm back in Spain. Maybe living in the US was just a horrible nightmare!"

I'd definitely be calling a couple of my wheelchair bound brothers. I'm sure they'd be up for seeing how fast they could crash into it... Maybe not all of them but Dave would, Dave would absolutely ram right into it multiple times (he really doesn't like not having access to a crosswalk).

Walk over its hood. It's technically not illegal in most parts.

Russian style , place very big stickers on all the windows , works great.
Also place dogshit on his car

This sort of thing is really common where I live. No point reporting them as the police don't do anything and they continue to park like this

Call the cops and wait there to watch it get towed.

Buy a roll of those stickers they put on products that is basically impossible to remove without ripping it and always leaves behind adhesive residue. See how much you can cover.

I would think wow that's terrible parking, and would wonder if they'll get a ticket from somebody who makes a living putting tickets on improperly parked cars.

Walk across the crosswalk dozens of times wearing a big, metal belt buckle.

Saying "oops" every time I accidentally run into the car.

"Cool, free stem valves!"

yoink

Climb over the top of it, of course. Preferably with golf shoes.

I think that person is an asshole for stopping on the crosswalk, but I have no authority to do anything about it and move on.

Must be part of the crosswalk, just walk over it!

Maybe covering everything with cars and car infrastructure was a bad idea.

Mix glitter and superglue in a water balloon

There used to be a website called You Park Like An Asshole that had pre-designed flyers you could attach to cars like this and other such infractions of, uh, good parking etiquette, if not also laws.

Looks like the site is dead, and either way, the other comments suggest this is in a country where the primary language isn't English so their flyers wouldn't be as useful.

... but it doesn't mean that you can't design your own in the local language and shove it under their windscreen wiper. Bonus points for putting it in a sticky-backed plastic envelope. You know. The things that parking tickets usually get put in.

Key it while crossing over the hood when I'm having a bad day (every day is a bad day in my book).

remember, the aircon input for cars are normally the slot under the windscreen