call the police?

I would think wow that's terrible parking, and would wonder if they'll get a ticket from somebody who makes a living putting tickets on improperly parked cars.

I make sure my keys are clipped to my belt securely. Wouldn't want them to fall off as I squeeeeeeeeeeze past, would I?

I'd pee on the door handles

Accidentally run into it head in and end up with a concussion. Then I can sue them.

Ah, Balkans, huh?

Edit: Looks like Portugal plates. They're honorary Balkans.

I'd definitely be calling a couple of my wheelchair bound brothers. I'm sure they'd be up for seeing how fast they could crash into it... Maybe not all of them but Dave would, Dave would absolutely ram right into it multiple times (he really doesn't like not having access to a crosswalk).

Climb over the top of it, of course. Preferably with golf shoes.

But some Oscar Meyer bologna and fuck up their paint job.

Change into my "blind guy" costume and beat the car with my stick until someone stops me.

I exhale sharply through my nose, go around and forget about it 15 seconds later.

I'm British so I'm going to tut loudly and mutter something under my breath

Oh, I love geoguessr: https://maps.app.goo.gl/TUNB28PnLf2ZuxZG6

I would take gel deodorant and put it on all of the door handles.

Leave a boot print

I ordered a pack of about a hundred business cards with "YOU OARKED LIKE AN IDIOT" on one side and a list of checkboxes with reasons on the other. Qould probably stick a couple of these at several points around the car

"Cool, free stem valves!"

yoink

“Hope they get a ticket”

I called parking enforcement on this one. Right in front of the job site drive. We don't come here everyday, but when we do, it'd be nice to be able to pull in. They called me when they got to the car and asked if I wanted it toed. I said that they do it all the time but just give a warning, because it's the first time I've called. Next time, it's gone.

Walk directly across the hood.

Walk across the crosswalk dozens of times wearing a big, metal belt buckle.

Saying "oops" every time I accidentally run into the car.

It's a tough one honestly, because you never know if its someone that's generally a considerate person but had to park for an emergency.. Or if it's just a general asshole on a standard day.

Judging by the car make and model though (all black Tesla), I'd lean towards the latter.

My reaction would be How did i get to a another country?

Buy a roll of those stickers they put on products that is basically impossible to remove without ripping it and always leaves behind adhesive residue. See how much you can cover.

tires

"Oh thank god! I'm back in Spain. Maybe living in the US was just a horrible nightmare!"