Look, we at Fox can completely understand the Nazi tattoos, the work at Blackwater, and saying that wars and killing people are actually fun. But we draw the line at jacking off.

That's the most normal thing about him

They can't attack him for his Blackwater stint (i even doubt most americans in general would care) because Fox loves that about him, so they have to do all this petty bs.

Jorking it in a porta-shitter is a boot rite of passage. (vid's about a bunch of vtuber vets telling stories and trauma-dumping. They're LGBT+ friendly but crass as hell.)

Edit: I'm including their TW so anyone who watches more than the jorking blurb knows what to expect.

Platner, please go on Pendejo Time

I would rather leave it unjorked than consider a jork in a portapotty

"Now I love the mass killing, but talking about jacking off is a bridge too far. This is a Christian country afterall."

dudes rock

Jacksepticeye?!

"This is why Platner is the candidate we need" someone at the Jacobin, probably

GOP "strategists" say the pattern raises fundamental questions about his judgement and fitness for office.

Ah yes, as the paragons of character judgement of somebody's past posts.

Wait I think Fox News constructed this headline from "jerked off in a porta potty in Iraq and laughed at the shit people wrote on the door"

I'm pretty sure that's a qualification in much of Maine

I'm pretty sure literally every veteran, including every single one in elected office, has jerked off in a port-a-shitter

if only he was a drug-"catching" cop instead of an internally conflicted troop, we could call him Gram Planter

😤

If Fox doesn’t support someone then I’m on board.