That’s my default. Me, getting any notification: 🫨oh no now what

Mission accomplished

I almost never get texts from friends, which is okay. Because I know we're tight and when we get together it's all cool.

But last night at 1:38 a.m. I get a text from my bud saying hey want to go to the gym with me tomorrow?. Which I didn't see until I awoke.

Dude probably sent that on beer 28.

phone rings

Normal person: "Who?"

Me: "Why?"

It's the best feeling

It's called peace

The good life

The real LVP.

I actually now hate getting any form of communication that social convention requires I reply too.

Another day living the dream... aaahhhh.

I think I'll make some tea.

You know, there's also a thing called "do not disturb" (it's always on with me and only wifey can get through).

Or the hardcore "airplane mode".

I wish. Any morning where there isn't a major catastrophe or some "fire" to put out is an excellent morning.

Zero notifications?! Don't threaten me with a good time.

Me too brodav

Just how I like it. Low key, drink my coffee, work, do my errands, play video games, go to bed.

My favorite.

That's my brother!!!

What's your number? I'll text you. I'm lonely though so you might regret your wish. My texts have been known to get a little verbose.

Same bro.

Well, guess who I'm spamming

Hollowed eye sockets beneath the sunglasses. With eyes removed, no more notifications.

The proper phrase is " Take a flying fuck at a rolling donut."

Just saying.

The only person left in my life who texts me is my adult son, who lives with me. So, if he texts me, it's something important-ish.

If I'm contacted these days by my sisters or brother, it's because someone died, or is in grave condition in the hospital.

I live a quiet, low-stress life, and I love it. It took a long time to get here.

waking up to zero missed calls because i answer the phone and talk to telemarketers in my sleep. fortunately i don't have any credit numbers memorized well enough (and never will praise Rustle) to remember them in my sleep.

Got my Facebook temporarily disabled. No one contacted me for my bday. It was sad.

I get notifications from exactly five kinds:

• Work
• My mom
• My bank trying to rope me into a credit or an insurance
• A group for autistic adults even I am too anxious to post in, because they all somehow have friends and I don't
• News

Since I retired, that's me. My phone is so quiet.

Have you seen the TV show Misfits?