Pegolas

Tom Bombadildo

Bonermir

Slamwise Hamgee or Slam-thighs Gamsgee

..mandalf the gay

Suck-A-Man The White

Holes go ever ever on,

Over cock and under tree,

By cheeks where never sun has shone,

Piss streams that never find the sea;

Over loads by winter sown,

And through the merry poppers of June,

Over ass and over stone,

And under mountains in the moon.

Holes go ever ever on,

Under cloud and under star,

Yet holes that wandering have gone

Turn at last to cocks afar.

Mouths that tongue and spit have seen

And bondage in the halls of rope

Look at last on holes prolasping

And cocks and loads they long have known.

• Holes Go Ever On by Bilbo Baggins

O slender as a willow-wand! O thicker than stiff lumber!

O cock by the living pool! Fair River-gardener!

O spring-time and summer-time, and it'll spring again after!

O piss on the waterfall, and Samwise Gamgee's laughter!

• O slender as a willow-wand! by Frodo Baggins

Shagrat and Gorbag don't even need to be changed.

The One Cockring

Thángoden, King of Rohang

Edit: Rohung sounds better

the dickriders of gropehan

gamsdalf 🦵

• Tom Bimbodil
• Radagast the Browneye

Bilbo Teabaggins or Bilbo T Baggins

Meriadick Brandyfuck

Tom Bombadick

Aragoon, son of Arapoon

Gríma Wormtongue stays the same, just make him the main character

Ba'alhog

Frotto Ball-baggins

Pëanis

Ghoon-Bury-Ghoon

Cìrdong the Dickride

Tobold Hornblower of Longbottom (didnt change the name at all)

Gandalf the Gaped

Pegolas

Gollbum (with flashbacks to when he found the ring as Smegmol)

Not long after the first movie came out, my friend's roommate actually rented a DVD of a LoTR porn parody. The main character's name, who was a girl, was Dildo Sagging I believe. The horny old drunk wizard was named Smirnoff like the vodka. I don't remember much else because it made me cringe so hard I left their house.

Smeg-hole

Gimpli

Arawhorn

Legolas

the ring

Araporn

Kinkra Rathagay Prego Harry Goatstiff Ar-Phallazôn Análion Helm "Hammerhand" 🤣

Dwarf tossing