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character names from the Lord of The Rings porn parody
(hexbear.net)
Pegolas
Rimli
aragoon
smaugma
What if it was Stimli and he was autistic
Smegolas, Smegmolas
Tom Bombadildo
Bonermir
Fannymir for Faramir
Degenathor
Slamwise Hamgee or Slam-thighs Gamsgee
Gulp'em/Smegmol
Penethor or Penithor
Elrond Hubbard (not porn related but I would forget it if I didn't put it down)
Penethor instead of Pellenor and Penithor for Denethor
Bellendor
..mandalf the gay
Suck-A-Man The White
Sore-man and he’s a bottom
Holes go ever ever on,
Over cock and under tree,
By cheeks where never sun has shone,
Piss streams that never find the sea;
Over loads by winter sown,
And through the merry poppers of June,
Over ass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.
Holes go ever ever on,
Under cloud and under star,
Yet holes that wandering have gone
Turn at last to cocks afar.
Mouths that tongue and spit have seen
And bondage in the halls of rope
Look at last on holes prolasping
And cocks and loads they long have known.
- Holes Go Ever On by Bilbo Baggins
O slender as a willow-wand! O thicker than stiff lumber!
O cock by the living pool! Fair River-gardener!
O spring-time and summer-time, and it'll spring again after!
O piss on the waterfall, and Samwise Gamgee's laughter!
- O slender as a willow-wand! by Frodo Baggins
Shagrat and Gorbag don't even need to be changed.
The One Cockring
This was a Jack Black bit
Thángoden, King of Rohang
Edit: Rohung sounds better
the dickriders of gropehan
gamsdalf 🦵
- Tom Bimbodil
- Radagast the Browneye
Tom Bimbodil: 
Bilbo Teabaggins or Bilbo T Baggins
Meriadick Brandyfuck
Tom Bombadick
Aragoon, son of Arapoon
Gríma Wormtongue stays the same, just make him the main character
Ba'alhog
Riders of blowhan
helms deepthroat
bearamir
Sheropes
Frotto Ball-baggins
Pëanis
Ghoon-Bury-Ghoon
Cìrdong the Dickride
Tobold Hornblower of Longbottom (didnt change the name at all)
Gandalf the Gaped
Pegolas
Gollbum (with flashbacks to when he found the ring as Smegmol)
My wife doesn't have a computer named my language, so I don't think it's for context in how we get every conversation.
Not long after the first movie came out, my friend's roommate actually rented a DVD of a LoTR porn parody. The main character's name, who was a girl, was Dildo Sagging I believe. The horny old drunk wizard was named Smirnoff like the vodka. I don't remember much else because it made me cringe so hard I left their house.
it's weird how joking about the idea of a porn parody is funny, but a real porn parody is just kind of boring and icky
Spot on.
It feels super odd that it became such a common comedy idea and im wondering what the chicken and the egg relationship is here. Cause I know jokes about porn parodies of movies or shows existed before the first lord of the rings, I had heard them. So...what was the first parody porn and what was the intent? Genuine unironic pre internet rule 34 attempts or were they always a sort of novelty joke product? And that leads to the idea of producing porn as a novelty joke product, which seems grosser than producing commercial porn in the first place cause its sorts meant to be laughed at... this is now something I want answers to but also really dont wanna look into
Smeg-hole
Arsewen
Gimpli
Arawhorn
Legolas
the ring
Araporn
Kinkra Rathagay Prego Harry Goatstiff Ar-Phallazôn Análion Helm "Hammerhand" 🤣
Dwarf tossing
this post was submitted on 04 May 2026
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badposting
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