This is fire. Support Women's Wrongs, not just their Rights
Legit A+ take
If, and only if, no one ever references the rest of the Bond canon jokingly. Everyone just plays it perfectly straight. No nods at the camera, nothing. Just like we all looked past the Bond actor changing in the past, everyone is just like "Yeah. That's Bond."
Hell, have her leave flowers at Tracy's grave.
What, no "This never happened to the other guy?" for a new face?
Even the male Bonds didn't all do that.
Remember?
"This never happened to the other fella" James Bond On her Majesty's secret service when Lazenby was the actor.
But why lesbian though? Shouldn't she just fuck twinks and make them straight
It’s anachronistic that this is still a part of it, but womanizing is integral to bond- Daniel Craig pulled it off without the chauvinism from earlier Bonds, but still seduces women like nobody’s business. A woman turning twinks is a different kind of problematic, and is not really identifiable for the core audience of Bond fans.
Straight men can identify with at least one party in the situations of someone relentlessly seducing women or a woman relentlessly seducing straight men. I could see the latter working on that level, but there’s a lot of cultural baggage that comes with a woman pursuing sex with men, and that might distract from the rest of the movie. We can only get rid of barriers by breaking them down, but I don’t know if it would be as commercially successful :|
not really identifiable for the core audience of Bond fans
Ahhh.. I forgot the part where we've stopped talking about weirdness for the sake of weirdness and started talking about profits.
Lmaoooo
I'd totally watch this in theaters. Also hot. But also fuck vodka martinis. Toxic lesbian James bond would drink pure gin, call it a martini and the only thing she's eaten that day is about 30 olives and some pussy. She may have some olive juice in her gin solely to make a pass at the bartender by calling it dirty.
Let's take it one step further, and we have precedent in the 1980s:
Sooooo, Atomic Blonde?
I haven't been to the theaters in a decade or more, but I would show up to see Tig Notaro as Bond. Or maybe Leslie Jones?
Fuck yeah im in, if she can hold the accent
Naw, she should cycle through all of the accents of the previous bonds.
This, but make it a new IP. Not to "protect" the integrity of the Bond franchise, but because I just want to watch something without being reminded of a different thing.
Basically Atomic Blonde
Screw that, make Modesty Blaise
Is her own character, so wouldn't get labeled "the female James Bond."
Has a cooler back story than James Bond
Has a cool cast of supporting characters
Is canonically awesome at martial arts, but will use guns when pressed
Already has a bunch of books and comics to use as source material
Has at least as many sexual adventures as Bond
Has a long-time male partner with whom she is emphatically not in a romantic relationship or a Will-they-won't-they situation
This why not make new franchises instead of gender sealing a character. There are so many stories out there why tell he same ones just gender or race swapped. Tell new ones that feature the gender or race you want.
This looks like a job for a jacked, alt Aussie.
One deeply underrated aspect of this post is a woman taking the name James. Women have taken Leslie, and Ashley, and so many other names. But James, an apostle, the brother of Christ! If this can happen, then women can take Paul, even Peter. Because why not!
Because Paula, Petra?
I wanna see Idris Elba as Bond. He's cool as fuck and looks great in a tuxedo or suit.
But a woman Bond would be fun, too, if they were just like the OG Bonds. Make Chris Hemsworth Moneypenny.
I think he's quite arguably too old now, but holy fuck he would have been perfect
Take the ambition, but not by stealing the name.
Most “female version of” media I’ve seen ends up being derided, in Marvel, in games, etc. Take the fun concepts you’d feel from seeing this Bond parody, and ideally use it to build up a fresh, cohesive character from scratch - an experienced spy who gets chewed out by her superiors for getting drunk on the job and banging too many women, but gets the job done well.
Or a gay James Bond man who sleeps with all the other men.
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No Mr Bond. I expect you to cum!"
Think of what Q could do with menstrual products.
Detonate a maxi pad. Floatation tampon. Garrote tampon. Chloroform pads.
For a second I thought you meant Satr Trek Q, and was very concerned.
I want to see a female Duke Nukem.
If Star Trek can have a Black queen (does she make captain? Im only on season 2) named Michael, we can have a female Bond.
Carrie-Anne Moss was born for this role! And most of the bond movies have minimal stunts so it’s not like she’d have to do matrix again - just play her role from Daredevil
I vote Alicia Vikander
At first I was like "no" then I got to the second paragraph. I'd watch this for sure.
Ana de Armas please
Cara Delevingne would nail this role. Or Kristen Stewart
Hollywood hasn't had a fresh idea since 1913. It's all retread ideas.
So I say push the Black Widow. The character is already its own thing. Smart, skilled, powerful. The lesbian angle is good. Womanizing sells in Hollywood heros. Maybe have her fight an evil gang of TERFs or something.
"Yeah we made the same shitty movie, but listen me now.. Now the chArActER IZ A WoMEn!! Plz watch!!"
Now, Euronews Culture can officially end all speculation by revealing that the identity of the new James Bond is... Irish actress and singer Jessie Buckley.
You read correctly: James Bond will be played by a woman for the first time, in the wake of Lashana Lynch briefly taking over the 007 mantle in Daniel Craig’s Bond swansong, 2021’s No Time To Die.
Buckley rose to fame following her role as Rose-Lynn Harlan in Tom Harper’s Wild Rose (2018). The 36-year-old followed that critically acclaimed turn with I’m Thinking of Ending Things, The Lost Daughter, Men and The Bride!, before taking home the Oscar for Best Actress this year for her performance in Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet.
She therefore becomes the first Oscar-winning performer to be cast as Bond.
More casting news was also revealed, with Tom Hiddleston playing the franchise’s first Bond boy - named Fitty McCrotch – and the new M is set to be portrayed by none other than Gillian Anderson. Both frankly inspired choices.
Thanks for reposting April's fools
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