603
Run Doom on it!
"vi remains open, and so is my patient!"
Imagine how wild the ride would be if it ran Arch...
The year is 2027. Police bust your door down and cuff you. Your pacemaker took part in a ddos attack on the gov servers
It also doesn't have age verification and the patient lives in California.
and it's running a bleeding edge build of systemd and thus currently under attack by social media trolls.
i get the joke but the pacemaker's mostly just a battery. it doesn't have much more radio than the magnetic/wireless charger your phone uses. very, very short range, no wifi at all. it's the other implants that the pace powers you have to worry about.
There was a guy at defcon that encouragef people to hack his pacemakers bluetooth
Wait until they do smart pacemakers that can play netflix
This needs to be disrupted. I bring pacemaker as a service, fully connected, for a small monthly upfront fee you can enjoy the latest in pacemakers, the i❤️.
i❤️, a beat into the future.
if anyone actually decides to do this, i will literally beat them to a bloody pulp with my cane. yes this is an actionable threat come get me i will get you
[mods if you are going to allow jokes about that kind of unspeakable violence against the disabled you have to let the disabled vent about those jokes. fuck you]
Does it run Doom?
There’s going to be a Skyrim release in about a week. The patient will wake up in the back of a creaking wagon.
Yes, but the heartbeat will be synced to the gameplay.
And when you die, you really die.
Not if you hack the matrix
If it does, you should probably go to the E.R.
I have never had an original thought. And I'm 8 hours late.
Doomfibulator
Wrong community. This is for c/selfhosting.
"I self hosted a vital organ 'cos fuck google"
But who is the self who is hosting?
Don't forget to oveclock it so you get more performance
We can boost it up to a full 2 hertz even!
Easy to retrieve and reuse once done
Latest kernel update broke my heart, literally.
DON'T BRICK THE DEVICE!!!
Not funny. A neurosurgeon did that to me and now I have to take pills for my kernel panic attacks.
Why take pill, when you can install schnapps?
.Debfibrillator
"How's the driver of the electrodes' GPIO, Doc?"
"Probably won't fit in flash with the kernel and Apache. But I could rewire the electrodes to UART instead, that seems more practical than interfacing with that weird pulse generator."
But can you play Doom?
You should start charging them a subscription not to terminate their heart
Killall kills only one.
Fetch or it didn't happen...
Good one. Honestly. Well done.
The pizza box laptop is still goated, IMHO.
Are you alright? Do you need mental assistance?
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
603 points (98.1% liked)
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