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Such a hard choice (thelemmy.club)
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[-] Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 67 points 1 month ago

It was supposed to be my birth name, actually. The entire time my mom was pregnant, I absolutely refused to take my hands off my genitals for ultrasounds or I just kept turning, so they had no fucking clue what I was gonna be. They assumed a girl based off what the doc told them, and my dead name was kinda a last minute fill-in.

They never hid this fact, happily told me about other name choices when I asked, but Rose was always at least my dad's favorite and my mom's top "acceptable" choice. When my egg finally cracked, I tried other names but Rose just... Felt like a birthright. Like for 30+ long years there was the real me just begging for the mask to say my name. Nothing else felt like me.

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 14 points 1 month ago

That's really cool actually

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[-] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 44 points 1 month ago

I made a spreadsheet, of a bunch of random nouns I thought had name potential, and then asked my partner and friends their opinions and documented the results

This is so funny and fitting. I actually love this method.

[-] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 20 points 1 month ago

The scientific approach :3

[-] kamillz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 42 points 1 month ago

Got drunk with friends and wrote down all the names that might work, and tried then one by one. Good thing the first one stuck, cause the next one was womannator 3000

[-] Furbag@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

That's a cool story, Womannator 2000.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Excuse me. Womannator 1999

[-] Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 1 month ago

Born with a unisex name, so my parents 🤷

[-] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

I had a friend who said that she would name her kids Sam and Chris so that they could be whatever they wanted.

[-] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago

I always wondered: is that common with trans folks? I think someone called "Alex", or whatever could just not bother, but chosing a true name can surely also feel liberating.

[-] hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

It depends on the person I think. I've always felt a connection with my given name (Skyler), and knew more girls than guys with it, so I didn't really feel a need to change it. Sometimes people want to put as much distance between them and their past self as possible, but I know plenty people who just take the opposite gendered version of their name too.

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[-] Pipster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

So when I told my mum about me I wanted it to be a little of an ice-breaker for her to brainstorm a new one with me. I had some 'soft' requirements - appropriate for my age, something I could shorten and greek-ish (deadname and my sister's names both are, not like we have any familial link or anything). I'm the eldest of 2 and for years we have known her name had she been a boy but for some reason we both thought my other name was what she got called. Turns out it wasnt true and my mum said "oh no you were going to be called x". And when I heard it I realised it fulfilled all my requirements, kinda suited me and it just felt nice, like it was mine to reclaim.

(Btw, username unrelated lol)

[-] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago

Read about history, and then steal the name of the most badass woman you find.

[-] snowsuit2654@piefed.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Following this thread with interest, because I'm currently fumbling and changing it often. Can't find something I like.

I know my parents picked a female name for me (they didn't check ultrasounds before birth) but unfortunately I don't know what it was. I am really curious to know. Unfortunately I'm not able to ask them. I wonder if I can dig up some old records...

edit: I found it written in my baby book. Pretty emotional experience tbh. I'll try it out.

[-] bioluminescence@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 month ago

Both my sisters' names end with -ina. So I changed my name to something that also ends with -ina for consistency.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

it was a joke and it stuck (it is the same as a muppet, but i am kind of a muppet so it worked)

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

What a cute story, Miss Piggy!

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Mine was picked from a character in a show who gave me so much (at the time unidentified) gender envy as a kid. I used the name in a game for a while to see if I liked people referring to me by that name and fell in love with it.

And then I picked a middle name that was more out there, but that I also liked, so if I ever wanted to change things up, I could use either.

[-] lena@gregtech.eu 13 points 1 month ago

Stole it from Lena Raine :3

[-] AlexCory21@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

So basically, I was given my name haha. With permission from me of course. But at the time when I was just becoming aware that I'm trans I met some friends on VRChat. We would regularly hangout and stuff and the topic of names came up. I told them my now dead name and instantly my friend suggested the name "Allie". So I just rolled with it and it stuck and I liked my new name. Which is strangely fitting since my avatar is part cat, like an Alley Cat haha.

So yeah! Now I go by Allie now! But I'm probably gonna just use that as a preferred nickname and when I do my name change I'll probably write down "Allison". "Allie" for short. I'm also considering changing my middle name to "Nicole". But we'll see.

I haven't done my legal name change yet.

[-] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 month ago

Stole it from my second grade teacher.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

What's their name now

[-] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I think it should be normal for parents who chose gendered names and have a 'boy' name and 'girl' name picked, to suggest their trans child the other name. and if the parents are good and deserve it, it should be considered.

Saying this because I named my daughter after a video game character, and if he becomes trans, I think he should consider the male character for a name... But I doubt he would want to be Jeb

[-] Pirky@piefed.world 11 points 1 month ago

I tried a few different names; most of them were derived from my original name. I ultimately decided on one that was pretty similar to my dead name.
I also realized a few months after picking my new name that it's an anagram for my mom's name. Except it has a D...

[-] silvana@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago

Jolyne, its Similar to my deadname and a JoJo reference

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[-] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 11 points 1 month ago

Sat idly one day, it popped in my head, I went "huh, neat" and started the paperwork.

[-] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago

I had a made up name that I used online (don’t feel any particular attachment to it now), and 20 years ago the advice was to use a name in the top 10 or 20 for your birth cohort to blend in more easily, so that’s what I did. I let my parents pick my middle name, as an olive branch over transitioning; it didn’t get them to use the right name or pronouns, but I still like the name or I wouldn’t have used it.

[-] VirtigoMommy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

One day while smoking with a friend someone placed a rock in my hand and It struck me like a vision.

I’d tried out a few names at that point and none of them felt like me, then the name I chose just popped into my head and i just kinda knew immediately in that moment. Told my friends later that day and 7 years later it feels weird to think my name was ever anything else.

[-] catfeeder@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago

I was thinking about Satan back then and noticed that Lucifer can be shortened to Lucy and thought that this name is actually really nice.

TLDR the reason is satanism

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[-] Arkhive@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago

I did a good bit of research into the language of my ancestors, hunting for a femme version of my given name. I found one that technically belongs to the protolanguage, but liked it a lot, and as I researched more about it the meaning and origins of the name made me like it even more. It conveniently shares the same first initial so it makes dealing with government paperwork and my deadname a bit less bad, plus some of my nicknames still work.

[-] Kayday@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

My wife and I are one and done, very happy. We both really liked our potential daughter's name and decided I should use it :)

[-] Filetternavn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

My first name (Sophie) was picked by strenuously looking through the top 1,000 girl names in the US, and writing down anything that felt "right". I ended up with a short list (including Amber, Luna, Aurora, Bri, and a few others I can't remember), and I looked up the meaning and histories of each. Sophie is the French form of the Greek Sophia, which means knowledge and wisdom. Given that I'm highly autistic and have a whole damn encyclopedia of facts in my head, I felt it fit the best (and it's super cute). I was going to go with Sophia and just have Sophie as a nickname, but I liked Sophie so much that I just had to have it as my legal name. I also picked my middle and last names, though. My middle name (which I won't say as to not doxx myself) is related to my favorite wildflower, in a language of the country I wish I could immigrate to. I spent a very long time on it. My last name is a common US last name that is also from the region of that country, and I picked it mostly so I didn't have an immediately searchable name (harder to doxx/stalk me). The reason I picked a new last name was because...well, let's just say I had a horrible childhood, and want nothing to do with my family. I didn't want my name to feel like it was "owned" by them. Which is also why I didn't ask them what they would have named me if they knew I was a girl, as others here have done.

[-] Frozzie@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

It's the name of the wife of a twitch streamer I follow. It's also the name of a notorious feminist who fought for women suffrages in the 50s in my region. And it's also the name of the most beautiful woman in greek mythology 🥰

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Not trans but if I was, I'd go by the name my parents would've given me if I was born a girl. I'd recommend something else though if you have an unhealthy relationship with your parents

[-] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I was named after my grandfathers so I'll probably end up using my grandmothers' names.

[-] Shanoa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

About 13 years ago when I was 13 (6 years before my egg was forcibly destroyed), I made a Mii after a Castlevania character on my 3DS and a bit later at that time I was grinding Smash Bros 3DS a ton online.

Iirc, for some reason your username online shows as whatever your Mii's name is, and being known as Shanoa just felt so right to me. So after a lot of hesitation, I decided to name my online handles that and even entered my first in-person Smash tournaments that year under the same name. 💀 I have been competing in platform fighters ever since.

Being known by most of my friends as Shanoa made it really stick with me like it was my real name and whenever I thought about living as a girl, that was the name I always wanted to go by. So after I learned I was trans, I ended up going through with it.

I'm still very early in my social transition, but it's pretty cool to think despite that most people I know irl have been calling me exclusively by my real name for the majority of my life now lol

[-] Bloo@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

One is a genderbent version of my given name for my family and other situations where i need to use my government name, the other is a nickname i was given and is the one i actually use.

[-] lulu@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

I made a list of names that I liked, then mentally tried them on to see what felt like it fit.

[-] kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My mom had told me from a young age, long before either of us knew, what I would've been named if I'd been a girl. She'd had names picked out for boys and girls but didn't have a born girl. I call it my "chosen given name"

[-] Nikki@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

stole it from the swapnote girl cus shes cute

[-] riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

so i feel kinda cringe about this now, but i basically just picked a fem/gender neutral name that is kinda similar to my given name and then i experimented a bit with it and ended up setteling on a variation of it, that is actually the name of an object, cause i am in the long tradition of enbies with with object names :33

for other names, i just stole names/words from charecters or things that i liked the sound of >:3

[-] GardenVarietyAnxiety@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I tried on a few, but they never felt right until I tried on the one I have now. It stuck and it just feels like "Me"

[-] knightly@pawb.social 6 points 1 month ago

My former partners used a nickname for me so exclusively that people we'd meet started to assume it was my name, and that's perfectly fine with me~

I tried out different names in video games, mainly Fallout 4 where the robot butler Codsworth refers to a specific list of pre-recorded names. When I heard the British clanker refer to me as "Mrs. Boobie" for the first time, it really just clicked.

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this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
265 points (97.8% liked)

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