John Deere™ Tractor Beam
No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.
this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
451 points (98.7% liked)
Risa
6894 readers
247 users here now
Star Trek memes and shitposts
Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
When they're broken, it's easier to just fire them out as projectiles.
Eject the ~~Warp Core~~ Tractor Beam -Shaxs
And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.
Nothing beams like a Deere
data turns around
"captain, did I execute humour successfully?"
(I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard's dumbfounded face too much)
Captain's Log. Stardate 23170.6
I have growing concerns about commander data's new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.
Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge's beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.
Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.
Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.
In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.
Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.
I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.
He looks more like he is trying to puzzle out a confusing problem in his head.
My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.
Indeed, number one.
The closer your pelvis is to someone's face, the more leadership they get. That's what they taught at the Academy and that's good enough for my pelvis.
I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "
It's perfect!
I've wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard "engage the tractor beam".
Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn't progressed that much since then anyway.
I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.
This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.
Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to "jamming the radar".
Ahahhahahaa this is so silly, I love it
This is beautiful ... this is what Risa is all about
This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.
And don't get me started on voice commands.
Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.
Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn't even know I had.
"Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting"
I love it!
Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?
Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.
Yea boi
Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.
When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process "getting a green card" on account of the new ID badge's color.
Well, they can't all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.
I unfortunately can't change who I am.
Nothing unfortunate about it.
You. We like you.
Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!
Technically correct
I said "argh" out loud, which means this is is perfect
I live for groans.
I wholeheartedly support this goal
We've gone back in time to season 2!
Sometimes an idea can be so dumb, it comes back around again as GENIUS. Congratulations.
Lol, thank you