Self respect.

I'm a middle aged white dude with some serious dad bod. That's what

Taste?

I don’t wanna

Budget and skill. In reality a bona fide attempt from me would probably end up more like this:

color vision. I don't want to look like a paint sample collection.

I don’t have the ridiculously oversized sword to complete the ensemble.

The fact that I don't want to

Every Google app

I'm a 50 year old man with functioning retinas...

Me being a man. So clothes shops go "you will wear grey, maybe black, some blue and fugly green. Go on, chop-chop"

I'm not a 1996 Volkswagen Golf

My ability to see.

Money

taste and dignity

Free will.

All of it.

Not into big jackets. I got hot really easy and get exasperated with my own clothes.

I don't desire to look like a child ate a whole pack of crayon and then threw up on me?

I'm broke and its not my vibe anyway

That outfit somehow looks both expensive as hell and cheap as hell.

Good taste?

I work from home, so I'd just be sitting in this colorful weird outfit and showing it to my dog and cats.

The Ringling Brothers, most likely.

Looks like a Ross store exploded in 1988.

And the only thing keeping me from dressing like that is that I do not own any of those articles of clothing.

It hits different on a giant bearded man.

Lawsuit from google trademark office.

I'm fat and unattractive

I live in a place with short and mild winters, so I can only realistically wear that many layers in two separate weeks where it gets freezing. I do wear similar colorful stuff but only as a second layer (jacket, hoodie, or sweater).

Well, lets jusr say, my peanits

I think it looks cool, but I don't wear logos.

I love myself too much to look like a clown.

I can't afford to own that many clothes. That fanny pack alone could buy me a thousand pairs of socks at the dollar tree. Probably a few dollar trees. I would be surprised if one store alone had enough socks stocked. I could change my socks 3 times a day for a year or once a day for 3 years and never have to wash any socks.

That coat is probably like $600

Money

I'm not employed by the circus

What is going on at the crotch here? It looks like she has a designer codpiece. Love the hair color/lipstick combo.