Ask Lemmygrad

It's especially important to do so since turning political orgs into dating sites is the best way to fuck everything up. I would advise to actually never hit on people within an org especially if you're male because sexism is already a big enough problem you don't want to participate in making activism even more unbearable for women.

I only date Posadists. They really dig my sex bunker covered in Soviet propaganda posters.

yea because otherwise i would be alone

Yes because I think I can radicalize any baby communist I'm dating.

When i first started dating my wife, she wasn't really into politics. It turns out it was because her entire family has been involved with communists since the 1900s and my politics is normal in her family.

Yes, but i only tolerate people that care about things around us. Solidarity is the main thing i look for in a partner.

Yes. My gf is not ML. Not outspoken at least, but she's a member of our party and attends actions. She's left wing but doesn't have to be outspoken communist imo.

This has been asked many times, and thought the search function does not seem to be working for me, you could probably find those posts.

My position is Id date pretty much anyone, because there aren’t many MLs around (and I’m lonely), and one’s views will inevitably rub off on their partner. Since ML is a very strong and anti-dogmatic worldview, coming into contact with other views will only only strengthen it, while it has a good chance of “converting” others especially people close to you.

Honestly I don't even have the means to meet people, let alone dating. I recently moved to a new state I'm unfamiliar with, with nothing around me that interests me enough to go out. Everything I wanna do I can just do at home, so I'm just kinda wallowing in loneliness

I'm also autistic so that comes with another entire set of problems 😕

I don’t date anyone ML or otherwise because I’m too tired and miserable

copy-pasted from previous ask:

Marxist-Leninist politics is like 40% of who I am. I started studying it when I was a preteen, and it's influenced my personality greatly ever since.

::: spoiler toolongpost

You will not see my eyes light up about anything quite like when I'm divulging some arcane secret regarding Trotskyists' probable collaboration with Japanese Imperialists and Rudolf Hess in attempting to dissolve the Soviet Union, or such a smile on my face while explaining that at one point, the CPC was almost 9/10 ethnically Korean.

This leaves me in a weird position. I have other interests, other hobbies. But I like reading, I like learning about this stuff. I devote a lot of time to it, and I love to talk about it. Few and far between do I encounter another Amerikan as interested merely in politics as I am, let alone one who's not a CIA-agent-in-training, genuine fascist, or confrontational, perpetually-offended liberal with whom constructive discussion is impossible.

I have dated open-minded people before, and they have all taken a fleeting interest in what I know or have read about. But it tires them. They typically didn't like seeing me "obsess" over breaking international news. They'd ask to talk about something else, anything else, please.

I also am so, so very tired of hearing "I just don't think I know enough to talk to you about this". I don't enjoy feeling like I'm in some sort of position of intellectual power over my partner, and I always tried to approach these conversations as conversations and not, say, lectures, but when the conversation is over before it even starts...

I don't want to feel the need to radicalize my partner, I think. That all being said, if I wind up falling in love with someone who is not already a communist, then so be it. They will likely be ready and willing to talk with me about it, though. It's a big part of who I am.

Nope, and if that means I spend the rest of my life just having meaningless short-term physical flings, so be it. Amerikan liberalism, and the settlers who practice it, fuckin disgust me too much to 'relation' with for long.

I managed to "convert" my psuedo-girlfriend into becoming a communist or a communist sympathizer, years ago. Hopefully that helps inspire you.

I tell her all the time my opinions about current events, and she likes to listen to me "lecture" about history, politics and about the struggle between communism and capitalism. She mostly agrees with my opinions, or at least understands my point of view.

She's also very supportive or at least willing to consider the long-term plans of us moving to China, together with my family. She loves my idea of us having a house in Shanghai and/or possibly Chengdu, her primary concerns are the flooding and earthquakes.

I'm hoping next year to start seriously learning and hunkering down and taking classes or courses in learning Mandarin or consulting immigration lawyers. My family and I are poor AF but I'm very hopeful.

Anyway, my girl hasn't mentioned the Israeli genocide of Palestinians, but she is well aware of my opinions. I think our only point of contention was when the Ukraine/Russia SMO began, but I eventually got her to at least somewhat understand the neoliberal lies and slander aimed at Russia and how Ukraine/NATO/the U.S. started this conflict.

Some people are simply skeptical of identifying with an ideology. That's fine. Whether they identify with an ideology or not isn't an issue for me. Whether they uncritically repeat shitlib takes and just accept this horrorshow as the default is the issue. That's my litmus test for relationship prospects.

I've been very lucky to have a partner that radicalized with me.

I've got a new partner who's not all that into politics, but she is definitely interested in learning more and knows something is wrong. That's all I really look for.

Of course I would never ever date a Zionist, Nazi, American Conservative (why am I saying the same thing three times) or staunch capitalist, but that's different than someone simply not being educated. If I like the person, I will engage with them romantically and then try to radicalize/share my passions with them. If they support it and join or at the very least aren't against it and simply enable me to get involved, I'm fine with it.

Of course I'd prefer a baddie tankie gf but my partner will be developed into one, rn she just a baddie gf. Lmao sorry idk wtf that was but there's me answer

I am married to someone that is ML or ML sympathetic. We don't really proclaime to anyone we are ML unless we are talking to marxists but it has always been relevant to our politics. It's not at all the totality of our politics because we are also interested in Indigenous perspectives and ML simply doesn't engage with that enough in my opinion and experience. I like plural thinking more than getting fully caught up in a single tradition.

Anyway if I wasn't married I would avoid getting caught up with SocDems at this point in my life. If someone can't handle criticism of first worldist politics we are absolutely not compatible. But also I would be annoyed by an ML that can't handle critical perspectives that come from Indigenous or place-based people. I would likely be more patient with a dogmatic ML than a SocDems tho.

Both my partners are not ML's. As long as they are someone who support me and my revolutionary goals I'll be fine. I would want them to be closer to my own views but I'll work on that when we are closer. The idea of having a partner who is also revolutionary does make sense, and I get why most people here have that view. However, relationships work on mutual trust on each other. Most of the time you'll find people who are too busy on their everyday life and have more important contradictions directly affecting their survival that they have to focus on, to give time for organizing. The point isn't to convert them but to treat them as humans whose ideas and the things they do come from their reality they are living. Through discourse of ideas, slowly communicating your own views, (and most importantly) getting their views because they're as much as part of the masses as you are, a more stronger relationship will come through. If they're open to changing their mind and not terminally online on political tweeting, 99 out of 100 times they're on your side. The ideological differences here won't matter then.

The last nail in the coffin for my relationship was that I never ceased to talk abt communism xD Dunno how my next relationship will look like whenever I decide to start dating again, but I'm guessing it would need to be someone who is as interested in politics as am I, and also at least open to Marxism.

But rn I'm def good being single. Got more time to engage with my comrades this way and I can generally focus on myself. It's interesting btw how often this gets asked xD

I'm actually dating a non-ML. Why? Genuine love.

For some reason I managed to rizz her up.

I'm lonely and ugly and I lack confidence in myself. Plus I don't like going out much. Haven't dated anyone. :(

I do wanna date but you know...

I may need to switch up strat lmao, last 2 girls I was with both became FBI or Homeland Security 👀🧐 edit: I will add that both were on mutual agreement, no hard feelings (LUCKILY!! Otherwise they might have just put me on a watchlist for being a dick, big ups to them, cool people but not my kinda people) and no grudges.

i don't really care about specific ideological affiliation, agreeing on specific topics is more important to me. for instance, i don't really care what they align themself with, so long as we are on the same page about AES. i don't want to have to hide or bicker about my support for existing revolutionary socialist movements. if they happen to be an ML as well, that's cool too.

i wouldn't date a lib, but i'm dating an anarchist right now. as i talk to her more about stuff, i think once she works through some of her issues, she'll come around to the ML side a bit more.

Yes. I couldn't date a hardcore anti-communist or something, because they would be inherently opposed to some of my fundamental beliefs. I don't necessarily need to date someone that perfectly aligns with my politics either though, I am totally okay with dating a fellow traveler.

My partner is not exceptionally politically active and doesn't really go into reading much theory. When it comes up we tend to agree on politics more than we don't, but it isn't something we really discuss a lot. She votes for our local communist party (which is more soc-dem for the most part but eh) more often than not, so that's something.