this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
678 points (96.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26707 readers
1419 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Last time, I used: "Anybody need anything while I'm out?" and that went over well. May not make it through this surgery on Friday, so I turn to Lemmy for top-notch suggestions for my potential last words!

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

Tell your wife I love her

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Thank you for asking this. I’m going under day after tomorrow for knee surgery, so I’m going to pick one of these to use. :)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd go with "I used to be an adventurer like you."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Good luck with your knee surgery, buddy 🙏

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

Y'all showed up for this post! Lemmy is looking better all the time :)

TW: Existentialism/Death

Not a funny thing to say before going out, but when I was about to do the mask I thought about what it would be like to be totally unconscious after I die, and woke up laughing and cracking jokes. It wasn't so bad during the procedure when my awareness was off 😜

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

If I'm not back by morning...call the president.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

“This could be a software problem, can we try turning me off and on again?”

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I said "wow, that's strong".

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Last time I had surgery, I think I made a comment about the surgeon's good taste in music. I was in Argentina, but the surgeon was listening to US 80s music :)

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Now I lay me down to sleep, the chaos take my soul to keep. If I should die, before I wake, the Lords of Chaos my vengeance to take.

Or Joe Pesci, he gets shit done.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

"Damn, I really need to take a shit..."

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The galaxy is in Orion's bell...

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Good luck op! I hope it's a success Friday!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Man, that's rough, fingers crossed for you yo!!!

Also, "I'll see you in there."

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

I actually did this one.

I was having my wisdom teeth removed. I was like 23. The anesthesiologist was a cute little blonde chick. Apparently the last thing I said before I went under was "Man this girl is a real...knockout..."

I didn't get her number.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

"Hey, who's that tall, hairy woman in white dress behind you?"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

"I usually prefer isoflurane, but I'll take a hit of this" only works if they don't use isoflurane.

"So this was what it was like for my victims" if you want to go dark.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

I only know when you wake up you ask, "what year is it." If you can manage it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Is now a bad time to tell you guys I smoke crystal meth and use other amphetamines?" Real zinger, they love it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

It's funny for you, but definitely not funny to them. They will have to pause and go through everything with you again if they think there is even the slightest chance you are telling the truth. Anthstisiea and street drugs definitely don't mix.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Make comments unrelated to your actual procedure.

"hope the transplant goes well." / "really looking forward to this m to f transition"

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›