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[-] arsCynic@piefed.social 118 points 2 months ago

Oh come on, this has to be satire.

If tech bros really have become this robotic, then, as Robin William's Good Morning Vietnam script read:

“You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.”

[-] kautau@lemmy.world 77 points 2 months ago

Lol yes, another post of his from 2 years ago

[-] arsCynic@piefed.social 24 points 2 months ago

Thank goodness.

[-] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 92 points 2 months ago

with the same razor

"we're blood brothers here. We share bloodborn diseases between each other this way. Hepatitis A is for Alphas." /s

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 14 points 2 months ago

we share herpes with each other, is what he saying.

[-] alaphic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Well, at least they figured out a solution to the whole "crabs" problem they had going on, clearly

[-] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 2 months ago

it will be interesting how he got crabs on his head.

[-] gustofwind@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Help a tight ass

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 42 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

if you think this is crazy, you've never heard of Occam's Razor

I know what Occam's Razor is, but considering the context here does this dude think it's just a good brand for head shaving? 🤨

[-] yakko@feddit.uk 26 points 2 months ago

I want to believe he's being funny, but it's so hard

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 months ago

100% satire, and it’s pretty funny

[-] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

He totally got me!

[-] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 months ago

...Wait, does he think Occam's Razor is an actual razor?

[-] HereIAm@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

That's the line that cements this as satire to me, because by applying Occam's razor here I think the simplest solution is that it's a joke.

[-] sdfric88@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 2 months ago

Yeah dude weren't you paying attention? This is their shared razor. They call it Occam's razor because Bill Occam bought it at the pharmacy on his way to the office last Tuesday.

[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Weirdly I always see Occam going into the bathroom with a full head of hair, and leave with just as much...

[-] gustofwind@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago

Please be satire please be satire please be satire

[-] Eyekaytee@aussie.zone 6 points 2 months ago

🤣

I hate to think how much time this guy is losing by sleeping every night, there's at least a couple hours in employee leverage he's losing

[-] kiterios@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

As of 1 month ago, his employees are not shaved... so unless he's had a complete mental breakdown since then, probably satire.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/alexander-cohen_this-photo-is-from-our-team-on-site-last-activity-7401997503660830721-51_e

[-] SamuraiBeandog@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

There's no way this is real, right?

No WAY.

Right?

[-] AngularViscosity@piefed.social 26 points 2 months ago

It's clearly satire, folks...

[-] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

This is clearly satire... I hope...

[-] Arigion@feddit.org 15 points 2 months ago

What a looser! If they would shave each others head during a meeting this would be much more productive. But the big question is: who hired all the hairy people in the first place?

[-] stray@pawb.social 10 points 2 months ago

So does he just not shower anymore because he's bald?

[-] grue@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Haha, what a stupid loser, wasting time shaving his head when he could just be letting his hair grow long and not wash it.

[-] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Satire or not, math isn't their strong game...

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

And this is how we all got AIDS.

[-] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

We're just ignoring the concept of "joking" now yeah?

[-] testfactor@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Yeah, this one clearly reads as satire. The fact that people think it's not is wild to me.

[-] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Why are these guys wearing clothes? It gets in the way of bodly functions. Have to spend 2 seconds to unzip your pants? Time wasted.

Everyone nude in the office from now on...

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

And you can blow each other without interrupting work.

[-] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Get fucked, you little piece of tech demo shit

[-] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

How does someone so socially clueless navigate the real world? Must be challenging, I salute you!

[-] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world -1 points 2 months ago

😆 thanks, dumbass

[-] root@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I wonder if he min/maxes in the bedroom too

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago

Hey, look on the bright siade, at least this guy is still showering

[-] LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

I don't want to make it

[-] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

As opposed.to shaving your head at home, which means not wasting time doing it at the office? This has to be satire.

[-] very_well_lost@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Guarantee this guy isn't shaving his head for "efficiency", he's just severely balding and wants to pretend that he's not.

[-] Psythik@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm with 'em, but for "my boss makes a dollar, I make a dime" reasons.

If I can get away with doing something on the clock instead of at home, I will.

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

What the hell is wrong with these so-called founders? Shave your pubic hair at home, the world is not going to collapse if you have some free time for yourself.

[-] cubism_pitta@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

In the kitchen sink too 🤮

[-] enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 months ago

he got nice cat ear

this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
273 points (97.2% liked)

LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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